Leadership

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Ups & Downs

This past day or two has been much better for my mom. She's talking and laughing although still not making sense all the time. You can tell her speech is getting a little difficult - she doesn't always come up with the right words for what she wants to say. But her mood has improved. She was up watching TV with the ladies from her room in the hallway today while they waxed their floor. They were watching Olympic women's hockey and knew the score - that was great. When we got there she wanted to get dressed and come home. It was difficult to tell her that she couldn't right now.

I'm going to hire someone to come in and clean and organize my house. I can't do it. Ed's too busy and sick to do more than regular maintenance and I'd rather spend my time with the kids than do endless loads of laundry when I get home from work.

That feels selfish. Really, to spend money on something I should be doing myself! But, I just can't do it and work full time. Wherever did society get the notion that a woman could do everything and still keep her mind together. No wonder we're a prozac society!

Sometimes I think that if I could just garner enough faith, or prayer a little more, I'd be able to do it all. But I can't seem to find the time in between running from here to there to actually get my mind organized to pray. Thank goodness God understands this and isn't sitting in judgement on me like I am on myself. Thank goodness He accepts my prayers in the wind as I'm running from here to there, the ones that drift up dreamily from my pre sleep exhaustion.

Well, it's time to carry on and not give up, so much laundry to do, so much cleaning to do so that when I hire someone they don't think I'm a complete slob!

grace...kathie

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