I've been keeping myself busy these days, not allowing too much time for reflection or for the mind to wander. It's just better that way. But on Saturday I was a passenger in a car... a car driving through a very pretty section of south western Ontario. Lost in the beauty of rolling fields and trees laced with sunshine my mind did the unthinkable... it wandered. For a moment I forgot where I was and why I was there. Suddenly I was looking for the mountains on the horizon and for a quick second I thought, "Where am I? What am I doing here?" A wave of great sadness washed over and, for just a moment drowned the beauty that surrounded me. I missed my family. I missed my girls and my son. I missed my grandchildren. I wanted them to be there with me.
I wonder if I'll ever get used to this. I wonder if next year at this time I'll still feel the same way. Perhaps I will slowly adjust to being in a different place, so far from those I love and long to be with. Perhaps not. It's not easy to go where God calls you to go. The road is often difficult and takes you places you would never have dared to go. And if you're like me, you'll resist it. And that will make it more difficult. However, I'm discovering again that if you embrace it and absorb the experience, it will take your breath away.
Breathe on me breath of God... until my heart is pure, until my will is one with Thine, to do and to endure... (Edwin Hatch 1835-1889)
Go ahead, take my breath away.