I've been thinking about grief lately. One of our staff had to watch her father die this past summer. He chose to die - he refused treatment for his diabetes and other complicated problems and went by his own choosing into palliative care. Of course, she is very angry. After dealing with the sadness and the tears - she has come face to face with the selfishness of death. Death thinks nothing of the people left behind, it is only concerned with itself.
Of course I told her that it is perfectly normal to feel angry. Actually, she has a right to be angry. Her father was only 55 and had he taken care of himself, his daughter would still have a father, his grandchildren would still have a papa, his son in law would still have someone to lean on for advice... Instead, he chose to disregard medical advice, ate whatever he wanted and ended up very sick. - and then chose death over suffering. How unfair for her. Life - so unfair.
How does one deal with that? I mean, how will she ever get to the place of acceptance. I can totally identify with her right now. Other than worry that my husband will have a heart attack, I deal with the anger over his having a very, very preventable disease - anger at him. He's known for a long time and had several warnings. However, he's chosen to disregard them and eat whatever he wanted. There have been times when he's dieted and exercised and brought his levels down, but overall, he's just been lazy. How can one accept that?
I'm sure it's how God must feel about us. I mean, for goodness sakes, men and women have the offer of salvation right in front of them for over 2000 years and yet still choose to die without Christ. Even Christians - we have the teachings of Jesus on how to find peace and live abundant lives and yet, we ignore them to our own detriment. Like worry. Jesus said don't worry.
I guess I'm just a traveller on the journey. I'm just not there yet. I want to be, but it's not happening yet. I thought I was close - but this situation has proven that I'm nowhere near close. Oh well, I'll just have to keep on keeping on and take my thoughts every 10 minutes to the Lord.