I confess, I spend more time knitting and watching TV, than praying or reading my bible. I know, I know, I'm a slouch of a Christian. I struggle, like most people, to keep my relationship with God alive and vibrant. I'm just not as zealous as I once was nor as I would like to be. So this book has been challenging me to seek out God in everything I do.
Challenge is something I'm used to. Over 20 years ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and I sought out many different treatments, medications, exercises and diets. Some have helped and some have made it worse. At times I've suffered depression and anxiety, probably as a result of being in pain so much.
The one result in all of this is my spiritual life suffered. I think, if I'm honest with myself, there are many times I ignore God because, well, I'm just a bit ticked off he hasn't healed me of this dreaded affliction. Other times, the brain fog that comes with this illness doesn't let me focus enough and I fall asleep when I pray, or my mind wanders. Anyone who has experienced depression will know how hard it is to motivate yourself to do anything at all, including prayer or study.
However, I push myself and continue to seek God in everything. It's likely because I'm a minister and a leader among Christians that deep inside I know I need to practice what I preach. I desire to practice what I preach. I long for God, his Spirit, his essence, to permeate my whole being. Rather than preach from perfection, I share my journey and make myself vulnerable to those I serve. I share my longing with them.
So, in taking up the challenge to read through this book, I learned, once again, that God is everywhere and in everything I do, I am, I sense. I remember my first love. I remember! I love what he says about the sacrament of the present moment on p.62-63:
"I believe this can be the greatest moment of your life, because this moment is the place where you can meet God. in fact, this moment is the only place where you can meet God."
He goes on to quote a book by that name written by Jean Pierre de Caussade..."The present moment holds infinite riches beyond your wildest dreams, but you will only enjoy them to the extent of your faith and love... To discover God in the smallest and most ordinary things, as well as in the greatest, is to possess a rare and sublime faith."
He then says... "In the same way that every lungful of air gives life to our body, every moment in time can - if we learn to let it - give life to our soul. This moment is as God-filled as any we have ever lived."
So I wondered if I could find God in my pain. Could I take the pain and compartmentalize it, like I do to go to work, explore, and find God there? If what he writes is actually true, I will find God.
So I did.
God was there.
In the pain.
In the moment I discovered His grace.
His grace - enough.
*Butterfly Print "Discovering Grace" found at www.kellyraeroberts.com
Lovely art there, check her out.