When I first received the call into ministry I did not quite understood what that meant. I had some romantic notion I would be sent to a church somewhere and my husband and I would preach the gospel, souls would be saved and I would teach people how to be followers of Jesus. Even during the first several years of ministry I did not consider myself as a leader; I considered myself a pastor. Two completely different things in my mind. However, after a few years I had the daunting realization - anyone in Christian ministry is a leader and is responsible for far more than just preaching and teaching. Unfortunately, seminary did not adequately prepare me for this reality and I am not sure that anything can.
The Master of Arts in Leadership program is taking me on a new journey toward understanding what leadership in Christian ministry means. One of the first things covered in the program is the importance of becoming a resonant leader. Creating resonance in your leadership requires knowing yourself intimately and developing emotional intelligence. To do this it is essential to be in an intimate relationship with God, for it is within this mystical and supernatural relationship that a true leader is developed.
Knowing God
However, who could ever possibly understand the totality of God, what He is or who He is? I am not sure I’ll figure Him out even when we do meet face to face. What I am sure of is this - I am drawn, by His grace, into a close knit relationship with Him. The more I learn about Him the more I love what He loves and hates what He hates. At the deepest place in my being I long for Him and identify with the writer of Psalm 42 which says, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God” (NIV, 1983). As I spend time with Him, I learn more about myself. As a result, I become a more confident leader, secure in the knowledge of who I am in Christ Jesus.
God’s Love
I believe at the very core of getting to know God, is an understanding of His love for me. Knowing God means knowing He loves me. Isaiah 54:10 says, “Though the mountains be shaken and hills removed, yet my unfailing love for you shall not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed” (NIV). I love this verse because it assures me of the steadfastness of God’s love. Romans 8:37, 38 says “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (NIV). I love Ingram’s (2004) definition of God’s love: “God’s love is his holy disposition toward all that he has created that compels him to express unconditional affection and selective correction to provide the highest quality of existence, both now and forever, for the object of his love” (p.181). This helps me to understand some things happen for a purpose I may not understand, but God is in control.
How wonderful to live in the knowledge of God’s love. However, it was not always this way for me. I would attend church on Sunday and hear God loved me, yet it was only head knowledge. The reality of my home life made trusting in this kind of love difficult. My father’s alcoholism and my mother’s co-dependency destroyed the very fabric of stability that a family needs and created in me a need to control, a lack of trust and a sense of anxiety and fear. I turned God into a distant and easily angered entity that demanded good behaviour and only loved conditionally. Ingram (2004) says, and I agree, that “We always try to put it (God’s love) into our own human terms, and our terms always fall far too short” (p. 177). Even as a young adult, I built a box for God to live in. My understanding of God grew as I realized in my heart what my mind believed. This journey is amazing as I grow to understand God more and more. Even though all this happened so long ago, the shadow of it brushes across my spirit occasionally. When that happens I become fearful and begin to doubt God has the best for me in mind. I find myself fearful and obsessed with the need to bring control and stability to my life.
Godly Examples
This is why I’m drawn to the biblical examples of Deborah and Daniel. Both of these characters, in their own unique way, led with courage and faith. They demonstrate the kind of strength of character that I would like to have. Deborah led Israel during a time of trouble and with great wisdom won great battles. How did she do this? She stayed close to God and listened for His voice. Victor says,
Deborah led from a place of intimacy with God. Her relationship with God plus her training and experience provided the foundation for her to be ready to confront the crisis her nation was in. She was a prepared, willing vessel ready for the Master's service (2010, November 13th)
Just as Deborah is brave and courageous, so is Daniel, in a very different context. I admire Daniel. Like him, I work with people every day who do not believe in my God. I also have to operate in a secular community, partner with secular government agencies and cooperate with social agencies in our community to provide services for our clients. This puts me in uncomfortable places at times. I think of Daniel, who lived his entire adult life in a completely different culture and religion than the one he was raised in. And yet, as Howell (2003) states, “Daniel engages the culture in which he lives rather than isolating himself from it” (p.121). Rather than reject his captors and refusing to work for them, Daniel is able to find a balance, allowing him to serve his new country with integrity while keeping his religious practices in place.
Daniel has great faith in God and His faithfulness. He has so much faith he is able to face dire consequences for standing firm and refusing to worship idols or even giving up worship of his own God even for a short time. The strength he exhibits reminds me of the temptations of Jesus in the desert and each time standing firm. Just as Jesus knows who He is, Daniel also knows who he is in relation to his God. Wright (2000) says, “Leadership emerges from secure people, from men and women who know who they are and live authentically in the security of that knowledge” (p.15)
Whereas Deborah and Daniel are brave and filled with integrity, wisdom and faith, Peter stands out as an example of human weakness. I long to be like Deborah and Daniel but I can identify with Peter. The gospels are filled with examples of Peter’s failings. Poor Peter, he cannot seem to get it right. He means well, but he acts before he thinks and makes great claims he cannot live up to. I find it incredibly reassuring to know Peter’s weaknesses do not stop God from using him to build and lead his church. Peter gives me hope. I know I am weak and yet many times I act so proud and strong. Peter’s many flaws feel so familiar to me and help me realize I can keep going even when I’m stumbling over my own two left feet. Howell (2003) says “Peter’s story should be a powerful encouragement to any and all of God’s servants who deeply recognize their own numerous liabilities, but aspire to impact others for the glory of God” (p. 219).
The challenge is to let the Holy Spirit fix those flaws and let God do in me what He longs to do – make me Holy. The fix is often painful and I think Peter experiences this when Jesus is taken by the guards from the garden. I can hear the bravado in the words he speaks in Luke 22:33, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death” (NIV). I can also feel his anguish and pain when the cock crows with the denial of his Lord still on his lips. What gives me the greatest hope is how Jesus treated Peter after His resurrection. Peter’s reinstatement by Jesus was a demonstration of His love.
Jesus the Servant Leader
All the love God has for us is wrapped up in the person of Jesus, God’s only Son. Jesus was the epitome of the servant leader. Jesus had everything and yet chose to be nothing, lower than the lowest servant. He demonstrated this when He washed the feet of His disciples. In John 13:14 he says, “Now that I have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (NIV).
If I am going to lead others then I must follow the example of Jesus. This will require humility and full obedience to the Lord. It is not an easy thing to do, as Jesus himself showed when he said, in Luke 22:42, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me” (NIV). Total and submissive obedience is the only way, “yet not my will, but yours be done” (NIV). Philippians 2:5-8 says,
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross (NIV).
I have a hard time with this. My need to be in control at times overwhelms the desire of my heart to be in submission to the Lord. I am not alone in this, as Doll says, “Sometimes I think I take Jesus along for the ride instead of following His lead. And even when I believe I’m following, I realize I’m playing the role of backseat driver” (2010, October 22). Even though I long to be able to submit to the Lord and live with peace and joy, I know I’m often directing from the backseat. I fear I disappoint God with this need to be the one in charge. Like Peter, my weakness can be my downfall.
Holiness
There is only one way to overcome this: to seek a life of holiness. Hebrews 12:14 says, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord” (NIV). This will only happen as I seek God in humility and obedience. This is hard for me, so rather than think of obedience to God as something that is demanded, I need to reframe it and realize I obey as a result of my love for Him. Van Duinen says, “Obeying God is not just about being good. It is a way to show Him respect and love… I find obeying from a place of love rather than for a ‘gold star’ on the obedient chart deepens my intimate relationship with God” (2010, October 23).
This kind of love and deep respect for God is what leads to holiness of heart. This is the only way to bring myself to the place spiritually where I can be joyful while making this kind of sacrifice. Peter calls us to a life of holy living, writing in 1 Peter 1:15, “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy’” (NIV). Holiness is essential for a leader in Christian ministry. Not only is it commanded by scripture, if I want my ministry to be fruitful, it is the key ingredient. Paul tells us in Romans 11:16 “If the part of the dough offered as first fruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy; if the root is holy, so are the branches” (NIV). Although this scripture is in reference to the Gentiles being brought into the covenant there is still applicable truth in this statement regarding leadership in ministry. If I live a life of holiness my ministry will produce fruit – and that fruit will consist of new leaders emerging and then, through holy servant leadership, producing more fruit.
I am also encouraged by what Howell says about transformative as opposed to conformative righteousness. By nature, I am a non-conformist, so this section resonates with me. Howell (2003) says that, “His kingdom demands an absolute righteousness, one that rules the entire personality and penetrates its deepest recesses” (p.167). This leaves me breathless as I realize that all of my personal struggles with faith and obedience are part of the journey toward the total submission of my whole self to God. Howell (2003) also says, “Jesus aims for heart transformation, without which no one can enter the kingdom of heaven” (p.167). The law is not there to bind us, but to point “namely, to a mind-transforming freedom that produces holiness in thought, motive and action” (p.167). This is my true desire – to have my whole self, body, spirit and soul, totally surrendered to God and free and at peace. How wonderful it would be to live free from anxiety and in complete trust and faith, let go of control. Will I ever reach this point? It is my hope. The paradox is that only through complete and total submission am I truly free. John says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (NIV). This cyclical nature of the spiritual life is a complete mystery and yet God affirms the beauty of it in the hearts of His people.
Practical Leadership
As my heart is prepared for ministry and I seek to become the kind of leader Jesus wants me to be, I am still faced with the practical aspect of leadership. One of the things that happens as I learn more about God and myself is I begin to form several deeply held values. I have noticed the values I am drawn to most in regard to my leadership are faith, love, family and caring, followed by integrity, service, commitment and responsibility. These are powerful virtues, seen in the character of God and displayed by His Son, Jesus Christ. I am challenged to live them out, daily dodging and skirting the pitfalls every leader encounters. The people I lead are watching me closely, as are others in my community. Every step I take in or out of faith is a lesson for them. Wilkes (1998) says, “You will lead others as you model what you teach. If all you have to offer are words, few people will follow you” (p.171).
Leading implies that you have followers and Jesus clearly demonstrated that we are to equip others to do ministry as well. One of the best ways to do this is to build a team around you. Jesus called the twelve to follow Him and He spent time with them, teaching them and equipping them for ministry. How He led his disciples is a model for us to follow. All along the journey Jesus would pull aside His disciples and explain to them the message behind His miracles and parables. He spent time explaining what being His disciple meant in terms of attitude and faith. If I want to see others grow and develop their full potential in Christ, then it is necessary to spend time pouring life into those I lead.
Team leadership is practical as well. Wright says, “I am a strong believer in team leadership since I know from experience that a team has more hands than I do and more wisdom as they see things from a variety of perspectives” (p.37). In my own experience, team ministry has been rewarding and subsequently fruitful for the ministry. More was accomplished in a shorter time with a team than was accomplished in the several years I was without one.
Leaving a Legacy
My desire is to leave a legacy of God’s love clearly demonstrated in servant leadership; a trail of souls to glorify the One I love. However, there is still so much more for me to do and if I am to be an effective leader I must spend time with God building an intimate relationship. For only in the knowledge of the holy one, will I be able to live out holiness in my life. Knowing God and loving God thoroughly will bring the security I need to let go of fear and anxiety and live in freedom, knowing He is in control and I do not have to be.
I trust God to continue to knock down those barriers in my life that stand in the way of my development as a leader. Like Peter I am redeemed as He calls me to feed His sheep. I can look to other godly examples for encouragement, but ultimately I must look to Jesus and His model of servant leadership. This won’t happen because I am studying a master’s degree in leadership. Nouwen (1989) says, “This cannot be just an intellectual training. It requires a deep spiritual formation involving the whole person – body, mind, and heart” (p.90).
A good leader is one who is firmly rooted in God’s love and holiness and is an example to others. I must hold firm to the values I have developed. In fact Mays (2003) says that,
In order to raise followers to higher levels of motivation and morality, the leader must “have a clear understanding of his own values and behave consistently with them – indeed, must personify them – if his visions are to be taken seriously by others” (p.135).
It is important for me to hold strongly to my values and lead with faith and wisdom, helping those I lead to become all that God wants them to be. I believe anyone who wants to be a servant leader must express Christian love toward those they lead. Building up and equipping others to join with me in leadership is a way of expressing God’s love. Wright (2000) says, “Leadership is a relationship of love. It is an investment in the life of others for the purpose of their growth, their contribution and their walk with God. Only people who care about people will be effective leaders today” (p.11).
The Calling
It’s hard to be a leader in Christian ministry today. When times get hard, as they do, and I feel like giving up, I always come back to the reason I do what I do. It all comes down to the call, and mine is strong and rooted in God’s word. Words jumped off the pages of Scripture and pierced my heart at a young age from Isaiah 61, and have been my anchor ever since.
The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour (NIV).
The sheer enormity of this calling frightens me at times. However, I know with certainty the God who loves me unconditionally will not leave me to shoulder this alone. He is my strength and my shield. Only in His Spirit can I be the kind of leader He has called me to be.
References
Doll, K. (2010, October 22) Re: Wilkes – Following. Week Five Forum – Response to Jesus’ Example. Retrieved November 18th from https://courses.mytwu.ca/mod/forum/discuss.php?d=46953.
Howell, Jr., Don N. (2003). Servants of the servants: A biblical theology of leadership. Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock Publishers.
Ingram, Chip. (2004). God as he longs for you to see him. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.
Mays, A. (2003). Courteous rebel: Jesus model of leadership. World Class Decorum.
Nouwen, H.J.M. (1989). In the name of Jesus. New York, NY: The Crossroad Publishing Company.
The Holy Bible. (1983). New International Version. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Bible Publishers.
Van Duinen, Lee-Ann. (2010, October 23) Re: Wilkes – Following. Week Five Forum – Response to Jesus’ Example. Retrieved November 18th from https://courses.mytwu.ca/mod/forum/discuss.php?d=46953.
Victor, P. (2010, November 13th). Re: Deborah. Week Eight Forum. Retrieved November 18th from https://courses.mytwu.ca/mod/forum/discuss.php?d=49378.
Wilkes, C.G. (1998). Jesus on leadership. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Wright, W. (2000). The theology of leadership. In W. Wright, Relational Leadership (pp. 3-18, 21-22). Bletchley, United Kingdom: Paternoster publishing.
