Sheep Tales & Kneedle Soup

2011-09-19T16:36:00.000-07:00

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
Maya Angelou

I've been keeping myself busy these days, not allowing too much time for reflection or for the mind to wander. It's just better that way. But on Saturday I was a passenger in a car... a car driving through a very pretty section of south western Ontario. Lost in the beauty of rolling fields and trees laced with sunshine my mind did the unthinkable... it wandered. For a moment I forgot where I was and why I was there. Suddenly I was looking for the mountains on the horizon and for a quick second I thought, "Where am I? What am I doing here?" A wave of great sadness washed over and, for just a moment drowned the beauty that surrounded me. I missed my family. I missed my girls and my son. I missed my grandchildren. I wanted them to be there with me.

I wonder if I'll ever get used to this. I wonder if next year at this time I'll still feel the same way. Perhaps I will slowly adjust to being in a different place, so far from those I love and long to be with. Perhaps not. It's not easy to go where God calls you to go. The road is often difficult and takes you places you would never have dared to go. And if you're like me, you'll resist it. And that will make it more difficult. However, I'm discovering again that if you embrace it and absorb the experience, it will take your breath away.

Breathe on me breath of God... until my heart is pure, until my will is one with Thine, to do and to endure... (Edwin Hatch 1835-1889)

Go ahead, take my breath away.

grace... Kathie

Discombobulated!

2011-09-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

I am feeling... so ..... discombobulated.

[dis-kuhm-bob-yuh-leyt]

Verb (used with object), - lat'ed, -lat'ing.
To confuse or disconcert; upset; frustrate: The speaker was completely dicombobulated by the hecklers.
Origin: 1825-35, Americanism; fanciful lteration of discompose or discomfort.

Is it September already? What happened? I'll tell you what happened - a storm blew across the country and we were caught up in its path. We were swept into London in a whirlwind of unpacking boxes, getting our bearings, finding where things are, getting new services set up and tears and humidity and learning about our new work which is turning out to be like memorizing an encyclopedia.

Well, let me tell you, for those who haven't been keeping up with my facebook posts, we are now beginning the routine which will help us to settle in our new home and work in London, Ontario. Our two young boys who came with us on this trip have begun school and both seem to like their school, their respective teachers and have met other kids in their classes - thank you Lord!

Poor old cuddles, she's discombobulated too. Can find the door, bumps into walls (she's blind as a bat!) and pees on the floor all the time. Gotta watch where you're stepping. The vet said it will take her six months or more to adjust - we wonder if she'll live that long!

We have yet to find a doctor, dentist, naturopath.... vet and groomers. We haven't got our health card form sent in yet nor do we have licence plates as our Suburban didn't pass the Ontario government's idea of a safe vehicle. That's another huge amount of money.

However, we do have our driver's licence! That's one thing done.
We know where to shop! That's another...
We know where several Tim Horton's are... and that's really important as well as Swiss Chalet!

We're getting there.... slowly!

But we've also been sick... a flu bug going through us.... literally...
S l o w i n g u s d o w n!

I had someone say to me they hadn't heard me this confused since I dropped my phone in the toilet! Well, stress and grief will do that to you I suppose. What can a person do? Just muddle on, getting through it, getting on with the necessary, taking care of the urgent and attending to the important.

In the meantime, I like my work, I like the staff (we have a wizard who wears funky socks who works for us!) I like London... a bit conservative here, a bit traditional... but friendly. I think we'll be ok, we just need time to settle in.

So, as for the question in my last post.... We Are Now Here.

I'm thankful for my family & friends who have prayed for us through this whole ordeal. I know we're being covered by their prayers and I know God is answering them.

I'm also thankful for Skype and the Internet.

grace....kathie

ps....let me know what you think of this new look on my blog, I'm trying new things.

Are we there yet...?

2011-07-27T23:12:00.001-07:00

The day that lasted forever is happening right now. Anxious to arrive at our new home in London, we got up early this morning to head out. But a thunderstorm decided to make a dramatic entrance and there were downpours so thick we were soaked through in a minute while we got the trailer hooked up. Quite a change from the cold constant drizzle of the lower mainland we're used to.

Then we got in the road but had to inflate the air shocks (pronounced "shacks" in Illinois.) Then the i90 to the i294 around Chicago. Need I say more? That took forever. Does Chicago ever end?

Then the question- do we take i94 or i196? The gps has been steering us wrong and wanted us to take the i90 right through downtown Chicago so we won't follow that. Then what happened to our Michigan map? Got to buy another one.

Now we're on the last leg of this journey and the signs say Port Huron 110 miles. But there is another lighting and thunderstorm. How long can this day last for? Will it be dark when we try to park the trailer in the driveway? Is the driveway even long enough?

Stay tuned...it's 6:15 pm now, I'll update later.

Later...

So the cable guy figured the driveway was 20 ft long and that gave me something else to fret about. How great I am at that these days. We ran out of American money and didn't have any American cash when we hit the bridge from Port Huron over to Sarnia. No one mentioned it cost money to get out of the states! Crazy! The woman asked how we got into the US - hadn't we come over the bridge? Then we told he we came from BC and that we used up all our cash at the tolls on the highways! Couldn't we pay online like the other toll booth worker told us? She radioed someone and then said we could go through, but only this once, never again! Real stern. We just said thanks and hightailed it out of there!

It was so easy to find our new house. So close to everything. And the driveway was just long enough for our RV. We won't keep it there for long as I think they have rules here about that.

It seemed weird walking into a strange house. It seems very nice but tonight I'm too tired to notice much - except the bed! Gonna have to do something about that!

What was so nice was that my best friend was here to welcome me. She even had dinner ready for us! We haven't lived in the same province for 19 years now. This is another consolation God has blessed me with. If I have to be so far from my kids, at least I have Dora, Linda and so many others here. And my brothers aren't too far either. I'm looking forwarding to connecting with new friends too. I just hope everyone is patient with me and my tears of grief for my family. I miss my children and grandbabies so much...Sigh... Well, sometimes you just have to suck it up and get on with it!

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone...how cool is that!?)

grace....kathie

A Long Day

2011-07-25T18:53:00.001-07:00

We've now been on the road for over a week and we are headed for our next and final stop before London. All the stops have been pre-planned except the first one (car broke down) and have turnned out ok, some better than others. If you have to stop in Worthington, Minnesota , be sure to stay at the American Inn right off the I90. Very nice for a quick stop. Not 4 star but reasonable rates and recently completely redone.

However, I didn't plan our next stop very well. We are a bit far from Six Flags and Ed is not sure how that will work. We are also worried about leaving the dog for so long. She did fine the other day when we were gone for 8 hrs sightseeing and she'll likely be fine, but she's lost a bit of weight on this trip. She is an old girl after all, 14 - 98 in doggie years! So we're looking into the possibility of a different campground a bit closer. I'm praying.

We were late yesterday. It was a long drive and seemed to take forever. We stopped a couple of times and bemoaned the consequence of arriving so late. We decided to stop for dinner an hour before our destination and it was a great meal. They had wifi which cheered up the boys - and Ed and I - and so we all caught up on Facebook. When we left to go it was dark out and we were tired. I heaved a sigh and got back into the car. As we drove along we were treated with a lovely sight - fireflies dotting the fields around us as we drove. I've never seen so many of them before! It was fascinating! Then we came across a great mystery. There seemed to be dozens of red flashing lights over the fields. We could not figure them out. Very strange. Finally, there were some close enough to the highway and Nathan realized what they were - windmills! Generating electricity!

Much to our delight, the hotel pool was open to midnight. The boys and Ed went down while I enjoyed some time alone! This morning we leave behind Worthington and we're on our way to the Chicago area. Tomorrow Six Flags. God has been very good to using this trip. We're looking forward to see what other blessings he has for us in the next few weeks!

grace...kathie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone...how cool is that!?

grace....kathie

Location:Illinois 72,Kirkland,United States

R & R

2011-07-23T08:19:00.001-07:00

As I sit and write this post I'm watching the dying embers of our campfire. Crackling sounds fill the night and the voices of the boys getting settled can be heard in the background. It's peaceful. I don't want it to end, but it will. I've learned that all things end eventually. But for now I take in the sights and sounds and hold them as memories to draw on when I need to visit a peaceful place.

We tried to sleep in this morning but it was no good. Perhaps tomorrow, but not too late. We have sight seeing to do! Today was a day of rest. Well, for me it was. Do you call water sliding and swimming and basketball and bike riding rest? That was the day the boys had. They're a little more tanned and water logged but having a good time. Right now they're watching The Forbidden Kingdom with Jackie Chan and comparing the laughs they hear to Dad and Derek's. I think they're right.

Tomorrow it's off to Mt. Rushmore, caves and zip-lining - ok, so it's crazy and I may chicken out if it's too high, but we'll see.

Now it's off to la la land. A good rest and now a good sleep.

grace...kathie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone...how cool is that!?

grace....kathie

2011-07-20T23:29:00.001-07:00

I thought it was a long drive to Coeur D'Alene from Arlington, but it couldn't compare to today's drive. Today we drove k800 kms through one mountain after another. I thought that after Billings it would be flat prairie, however, I was wrong. We have to drive down Hwy 90 through Wyoming and the Big Horn Mountains, which will take us to the Black Hills of South Dakota.

So far the scenery has been spectacular! Idaho and Montana are wonderful. The people are very friendly and the service we've received has been great. The beds we've slept in haven't been great and both Ed and I have very sore backs. Avoid the Comfort Inn in Coeur D'Alene. After tonight we are camping for three nights so we'll be in our own beds. Yes!

The boys are doing well for their first long road trip. Their old enough not to be asking "are we there yet?" - well, Nate is! ;-) They've been playing games on their iPods and listening to music, playing cards and sleeping.

Tonight we arrived later than we thought. Silly me, I forgot the time change. We got a quick supper and headed off to the pool and great watersides. The hot tub was just what I needed to relax after a day of sitting cooped up in the car.

The other surprise on this trip
is Cuddles who is 14. We weren't sure how she'd do being so old, blind and deaf! But she is traveling really well. Not eati
much but getting offered. Hopefully shell be just fine.

It's been distracting looking at the scenery but off and on I get very emotional thinking of all the family we've left behind. I don't like this feeling and pray that this melancholy passes.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone...how cool is that!?

grace....kathie

Location:Access Rd,Billings,United States

Stranded

2011-07-19T20:43:00.001-07:00

So here we are stuck in Arlington, Washington. Not. Much to see or do, but there's a small pool and hot tub. Our plan was to be in Coeur D'Alene, Idaho the first night but we only made it part way before the car gave out. Hopefully, they'll be able to fix it and get it going for us.

Sometimes you have to wonder why things happen the way they do. We had a three hour wait while AAA got their act in gear. Talk about frustration! Then a nice older gentleman came up to us and asked if he could help. They saw our trailer and have a similar one, and well you know, an RV'er needs help...you help. They stayed and kept us company, chatting about RV's, camping, grandchildren - you know, just stuff. Turns out they were from Coeur D'Alene and were on their way to Seattle to see their new grandbaby. Small town folk with big hearts. I got her name - Zala. Turns out her Aunt was a Brigadier in the Salvation Army! Told us some stories they heard from her.

We said goodbye to our new RV friends and went off with the two giant tow trucks - thank goodness we got BCAA RV Premium coverage. But if we hadn't, that nice gentleman from Idaho was willing to give us a tow to the nearest campsite.

I think they were angels.

God is gracious...Kathie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone...how cool is that!?

Location:Smokey Point Blvd,Arlington,United States

The Ring Leader

2011-05-06T14:52:00.000-07:00

Well, here is my DISC personality profile. I was checking out this site to find a short test to give some prospective employees and did the test to see what you get for free. I believe I might get the full one, it's not that expensive. Anyway, I thought I'd share this with you. If you know me, let me know if you think this is like me. Click on the title of the blog to go to the website, do yours and let me know what yours is. You can even post it on Facebook if you're brave and courageous!

Kathie , as the "Ring Leader " you have a powerful personality with the outgoing nature and drive to make things happen, even if the odds are stacked against you. Self-directed and self-motivated, you naturally gravitate towards leadership positions. People are likely drawn to your contagious enthusiasm and big personality, which paired with your strong determination can win others over to your objectives and point of view very quickly. You are naturally charismatic, persuasive, and relational. In times of pressure, you tend to be objective in your approach and direct in your communication, yet can remain diplomatic and sensitive to others. In times of low stress, however, you can mix business with pleasure and come alive in social situations. Naturally, optimistic, you seek out the possibilities in life, yet value stability and consistency.

Your creativity and ability to solve problems are some of your greatest strengths. This paired with your drive and vision allows you to create new opportunities, keeping your experiences fresh and exciting. Often bored by routines, you find daily tasks to be mundane and like to mix things up, preferring to develop new ideas rather than maintaining systems already in place. You are a bold person, whose character is marked by originality, expressiveness, generosity, and determination.

You are a natural born communicator and an adept social navigator. Where often others will sit by, you will engage new people or invite others in to make them feel at home. You may develop friends easily, exhibiting a high sense of loyalty and a desire for a positive group dynamic. With a talent for creative reasoning and big picture thinking, you can be a great innovator and are typically seen this way by others. Your energy and forward thinking can generate a team-oriented environment, helping you to accomplish your goals by motivating others, while creating an atmosphere that is fun and exciting.

Food for Thought

Bored by routine, you may have a short attention span and change scenarios often. Challenges arise for you in time-management and with detailed tasks that involve a long commitment of time or repetitive activity.

You are talkative and get excited about your ideas. In social situations, bring attention to whether you are focusing on what others are saying or on what you are going to say next.

You may be short-tempered and lack patience with others when frustrated. In these times, your body language and tone can become acutely direct, which can be threatening or offensive to more passive styles. This is a common communication breakdown that can only improve through understanding and awareness.

Being a self-directed person, you do not like to be rushed or pressured. You probably prefer leadership roles and may have a difficult time with other's authority or rules.

You have a strong need to be recognized for your accomplishments and actions and approved of by others. You may have a tendency to be generous with those around you, and will especially struggle in times of feeling taken advantage by others.

You are a big picture thinker and may not gather all the needed information before making decisions or moving forward on something you are excited about. Having a detail-oriented person who can gather information and support your visions with information will help you in achieving your goals.

Sweet Sorrow

2011-05-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

All my bags are packed; I’m ready to go….well, not quite - and not on a jet plane. But, after 14 years in Maple Ridge, 17 years in Metro Vancouver, the Chiu family is moving. Well, not quite the whole Chiu family – our three grown children, two son-in-laws and our eight grandchildren will stay here where they’ve made lives for themselves. When Ed and I and our two youngest make our way east it will be the first time our family will be separated.

Ok, so let’s not talk about that right now….

This has been a long journey for us to this point. As Salvation Army officers we have always known that one day we would be moved to another appointment. It’s just the way it goes. People retire, new officers are commissioned, ill health and other reasons force people to resign and appointments have to be filled. So every year the grand shuffle takes place. For 14 years we’ve managed to avoid being caught up in that shuffle. We’ve had some very sensitive leaders that have listened carefully to us when family situations, poor health and aging parents dictated that it would be best to stay. We’ve been blessed to have these leaders and are very aware that this has been a tremendous privilege.

Our ministry here in Maple Ridge has also greatly benefited from us being here for so long. When we arrived in 1997 there was a small, newly planted church that was struggling financially and only allowed to stay open I’m sure because of a lease agreement that was pretty expensive. However, God had plans for The Salvation Army in Maple Ridge and today there is a thriving church and social ministry where people find salvation and new life every week.

But now it’s time for a new adventure. I’ve not been able to bring myself to write about this move even though I’ve known we were going to move for several months. Perhaps if I didn’t write about it, it wouldn’t happen.

I guess that didn’t work. So I guess I’ll write now.

grace…kathie

The Corners of My Mind

2011-03-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

I sat in the waiting room at the UBC Alzheimer's & Related Disorders Clinic looking around at the others. There were a few my age... but they were not patients, they were with their aging parents. I, on the other hand, was the patient. How weird was that? God? What is this all about?

When my name was called a volunteer took me to a small room and conducted a memory test.

"I'm going to say three words and then I want you to remember them after I ask you a few other questions. Then I'm going to ask you more questions and then I'll ask you to remember the three words again."

No problem, I thought. I repeated the three words a couple of times and said, "OK, let's go." So on the questions came and in my mind I'm thinking, "What were those words?" and then the questions kept coming. Then she asked me for the words.... "uh.... uhhhh......" Finally, I remembered them and she gave me a hint on the third word.

On to more questions for a while.... then.... what were those three words again....I sat there and wracked my brain for a few seconds and then... bingo! There they were. Phew. Passed that test.

"Now I'm going to ask you to repeat five words, and we're going to do the same thing again."

WHAT??? Panic! Oh no, what if I can't remember them! I repeated them a couple of times and then off we went again. When it came time to remember the words I got one.... ONE! I'll never forget that blessed word... VELVET! It will stick with me forever. I couldn't get the others without prompting! I'm hopeless! On the fifth word I guessed - luckily it was the right one and the young woman never realized!

What frightened me about this test was that I was there for long term memory loss - NOT short term memory loss! I nervously laughed to Ed when I told him what happened back in the waiting room. I spent the whole afternoon there being tested and examined, poked and prodded, knocked on all my joints with a rubber hammer, walking, balancing... the whole shebang. The result is that I have to have more tests.

This all started after my surgery two years ago. I had attended the Leading Women conference in Toronto and when I returned home I found out I had to have the surgery. It was going to be the big one some women have to have. Yes, a hysterectomy. They took ALL my inside girlie parts. And surprise, they had a cancellation just in a week. It was now or never. OK. So on March 13th I went into the hospital and I've never been the same since.

The first time I experienced a lost memory was when I received an email a few weeks later. "Who was this person emailing me" I asked myself. I didn't recognize the name at all. I clicked on the email and the person was asking me for something I had promised to send. "They have the wrong person," I thought. So I replied and said as much. But apparently I not only knew this person, I had lunch with them at the conference and was supposed to send something to them and must have forgotten. Well, I had forgotten a lot of things.

People came up and talked to me that I should have known... now I just pretend I know them and hope they don't notice!

There were events I attended but had no recollection of... and apparently I enjoyed myself too!

It was very strange and disconcerting. However, at first the doctor put it down to a side effect of the anesthetic. OK, it would all come back, no problem. But then it didn't. Some things that happened before the surgery just disappeared into the recesses of somewhere... but not my mind. Oh well, I guess I could just live with that. Deal with it. Done.

But then I noticed as time went by other things went missing. After six months some things were just gone. Policy decisions at work... things I'd agreed to I couldn't remember... weird. So back to the doctor. It was then the referral was made to UBC and I was sent for a CT Scan. Now it's an EEG and an MRI and some blood tests. It could be just trauma from my surgery - and it was traumatic for me. Or it could be that blood flow was cut off temporarily during the surgery, which can happen... who knew? At least it doesn't appear to be progressive. I'm just praying that God will show them what's wrong so I can have some answers.

This is turning out to be more than I bargained for. I should have just gone on in blissful ignorance! Oh well, I guess I'll cope somehow. One good thing is I don't have to spend any money on books, I can just read all the ones I have over again!

One thing I'm thankful for... God is in control. Even if I were to lose all my memories, God will never forget me, never leave me nor forsake me. It makes going through life much easier and comforting to know this. It gives me peace. I can't imagine what it's like for Darwinists and atheists to go through life knowing there is no purpose to their life nor is there any point in anything. Whatever happens, I know God has a plan for me and for those who love me. I think perhaps I will never forget that.

grace.... Kathie

Life's Just Like That

2011-02-21T17:40:00.000-08:00

Change. I crave it sometimes. It causes stress. I like it. I hate it.

Do I sound a little conflicted? Yes, because I am.

Sometimes change in our lives can bring excitement. We anticipate a positive event like a wedding, birth of a baby, graduation, new job... all of these types of changes can bring stress, but it's generally good stress with positive outcomes.

Other changes can bring negative stress. Divorce, death, serious accident, ill health, losing a job, moving... these can knock a body over, overwhelm a person.

But change just for changes sake, for some people is just fine. I remember lots of times coming home and my dear hubby had rearranged all the furniture. Many times, during the early days of our marriage I would go into the kitchen and look for something, only to find he'd rearranged that too. Me? I like things put in one place. I like to know that everything has it's place - and it's the same place as last month, next month and next year!

I think behind all this change stuff is control. Positive changes are usually within your control. You choose them. You're the architect of that change. But do those changes still have negative stresses to them? You bet they do! That's because every thing we do, every change we make affects others in our lives and they experience a loss of... wait for it....control.

So, it all comes down to this control thing. Am I saying that people who don't like change might have problems with control in their lives?

What do you think?

Well, perhaps then, when we're feeling that things are just a little bit out of control, we can depend on God. He never changes. He never leaves us. He never forsakes us. When we're freaking out, He is there. When we're experiencing loss of control, He reminds us that we can depend on Him to get us through. He knows the future - He is in control - even though it may not "feel" like it, He holds on to us so that we're not overwhelmed or knocked over.

Thank God! Here's a great song by a favourite group of mine, enjoy!

(Don't forget to slide over to the right side to pause the music playlist)

grace... Kathie

(the sometimes control freak who feels overwhelmed and knocked over sometimes!)

The Real Chatty Kathy Doll

2011-01-21T16:42:00.000-08:00

So this was my favourite toy of all time - my Chatty Kathy Doll! I loved this doll so much, I took her everywhere. I think I wore her out, I definately eventually ruined her hair by brushing it so much! I don't know what ever happened to her, I'm sure I grew out of her. My mom was terrible too, she always threw out my broken toys and things she didn't think I wanted. Has your mom ever done that! I've lost a few treasured items during those years.
Anyway, this is me and my mom, back when I was about 4 or 5 years old - me with my Chatty Kathy Doll! Watch one original commercials I would have watched as a little girl that made me want one of these lovelies - just click on the YouTube link below.

grace...kathie

Chatty Kathy Doll Commercial on Youtube

ChattyKathie

2011-01-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

A wonderful surprise that came in the mail from one of the other kathys in my life! I'm not sure what to do with this little girl, but she's so precious. I had one of these dolls when I was a little girl! I'll have to try to post it here, blogger's not letting me put up two pics.

grace... kathie

I'm in His Hands

2010-11-18T12:40:00.000-08:00

(Don't forget to pause the playlist on the side before you hit play on the video).

I’m in His hands…. How difficult it is to listen to this, let alone sing it. Yet this song compels me to lay myself prostrate before God’s mighty self, the great I AM and submit myself totally to Him.

Whatever the future holds…. this is tomorrow, next week, and next month….next year… ten years from now. Whenever. I know He holds the future – He is so awesomely not bound by time or space…and I can count on Him pulling it all together for me. Is that not so cool!?

I don’t know about you, but I tend to fret about things. Oh, I give it into God’s hands and then I take it back – just for a while, mind you, so I can fret about it. You see, that way I have control over the situation.

And I need to have control sometimes!

Yes, I have a problem with control. I know it comes from growing up in a family affected by alcoholism. Never being able to predict what is going to happen. Never knowing for sure where your parent is because you know they’re late and they’re not home yet… and it’s dark…and they might not come home….and when they do will they be happy? angry?... will your parents fight again?... and on and on… ad infinitum… sigh.

But that was a long time ago, you might say. Yes, but its shadow still falls on my spirit every once in a while and sets me off. Then I’m back on the faith journey all over again. Every day, I have to come before God and give Him control. If I don’t I’ll take over myself and… well, that has disastrous consequences. Oh yes, I’ll start to fret as if that will fix it, then I won’t be able to sleep and then I’ll be tired and tense all the time. And before you know it I’ll wake up really early in the morning with my chest bursting. I’ll feel like I just want to run away from everything…

Like a dunce, it’ll take me a few days to remember that God is the one in control and I don’t have to be. You’d think since I’ve been at this for so long I’d have this down pat, eh? Especially since I’m in the business of preaching to others about it! But no… my humanness can’t help but break through every once in a while…and there you have it.

So, if you fret too, don’t worry, you’re not alone. If you have trouble giving over control of your day, your family, your life to God, you’re not alone there either. If you can’t keep hold of the peace the passes all understanding followers of Jesus are always talking about…you’re not alone. I’ll wager that there are a lot of us like this.

Do you know what the good news is about this? God knows already. AND… He loves us anyway. He is patient for He knows our weaknesses. I’m reminded of Peter and how he had enough faith to get himself out and walking on the water, but not enough to keep him there. But Jesus reached his hands out to him and He reaches out to us too. And if He could use Peter to establish His church, then He can use me too.

Are you sinking…quick! Reach out and take His hand… He’s got it all under control.

grace…kathie

Great Big Faith

2010-11-14T20:56:00.000-08:00

Providential: –adjective

1. of, pertaining to, or resulting from divine providence: providential care.

2. opportune, fortunate, or lucky: a providential event.

Sometimes things happen to you and you know God's hand is in it. That has been happening to me this past few weeks. And what is God saying to me through all of this? He's been asking me a question.

Kathie, where is your faith?

Little by little, this question is burning off the fog in my mind created by incessant worry and fear. This fog has been a problem for a long time now. As it clears, I'm beginning to see things I haven't seen for some time now. How did this happen? I don't know. It crept up on me slowly, a little bit here, a little bit there. You know how it goes - bit of concern here a dash of fretting there. Surgery, poor health, a demanding job and a busy family life. Add to this recipe caring for a aging mother and nursing her through her passing. Things happen and we all react differently.

This past week I was working on an assignment for the course I'm taking and I was challenged by the story of Daniel. Today in my sermon I shared about Daniel's Great Big Faith and how I long to have the kind of faith Daniel had. As I encouraged our congregation to have faith, I was encouraging myself as well. It was like the fog cleared completely and I realized that I had to have faith as well. As that realization hit, a peace came over me. But God wasn't finished yet - you know how He can be about these things. He makes sure there is no question - a providential online chat confirmed what I was realizing. I need to have more faith.

Faith for what?

For everything. For all the everyday little things I worry over. And a Great Big Faith about where God will take us in our ministry...and that was an emotional one. Just over eighteen years ago we signed a covenant to serve God and minister in His name through The Salvation Army. We promised to go wherever we were sent and believed that God would only take us where He wanted us to be. In that place we would find perfect peace and rest for our souls. I lost sight of that in the last few years. But now the fog has cleared again.

We have been so blessed on this journey. I know He'll continue to bless us again and again.

So, after thirteen years in our current appointment, we leap into the big unknown. But we leap in faith that God is at the other end to catch us.

grace....kathie

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T15:59:00.000-07:00

Halloween! I loved dressing up in elaborate costumes, smelling the crisp yet earthy air from the fallen leaves, running from house to house... and oh yes! The Candy! But Halloween is hard for some Christians - they just don't know what to do with it. Is it sinful and evil? Is it all about Satan-worship and pagan gods? Or is it just fun and games? Years ago, when I got serious about my relationship with God I wanted to make sure that if I participated in Halloween I wasn't breaking some kind of spiritual law. So I did some research. Here's what I found.

Halloween can be traced back to the ancient Celtic feast of Samhain (pronounced sah-ween). Although it's all about the candy now, it had some eerie beginnings. Originally it was a night for the druids to lead the people in a celebration of Samhain, whom they believed to be the Lord of the Dead. His festival fell on November 1st. Most pagan nations had a belief that at death the souls of good people were taken by good spirits and carried off to paradise, but the souls of wicked people were left to wander the space between the earth and the moon or consigned to inhabit animals. On Samhain, the veil between the physical world and the spirit world was pierced, releasing evil spirits that would then harass the living. These wicked souls would return to their homes, so people would attempt to ward them off by wearing scary costumes. They would draw gargoyles on their homes, carve out gourds and pumpkins and put lights in them. They even tried to placate the evil spirits by offering them food and would leave fruits, vegetables and other types of foods for them. However, if the spirits weren't satisfied, they would play a trick on them. Hence, trick or treat!

When Christianity spread through Europe and the British Isles, many pagans and druids converted to Christianity. However, they were still very superstitious. Many of the people were illiterate and uneducated and so their understanding of many things was very primitive. Even if they could read, the Bible was written in Latin and usually only the rich nobles or church officials would be able to read it. In order to combat this type of superstition, the church established a rival celebration - All Saints Day which is celebrated on November 1st. All saints day celebrated and honoured all the saints, or martyrs, who had died that year. The evening before the church would hold a mass and the mass became known as All Hallow Mas, and the evening became known as All Hallow E'en (Halloween). So Halloween means Holy Evening.

So, Halloween is the churches attempt to redeem a pagan celebration. This is nothing new for the Church - Christmas and Easter are also celebrations established at the same time as pagan celebrations. So what is so evil about Halloween? Well, those who do not believe in Christianity simply practice it as a cultural festival - a night to dress up and have some fun. Others, have embraced a pagan like religious belief and have resurrected some of what they think are ancient Celtic practices. Even still there are others who have embraced evil and have declared it their special night.

So what do we do with Halloween? Well, we've been having fun with it all our lives. We take the opportunity to go door to door with our kids, meeting our neighbours and saying God bless you. Some people give out gospel tracts. We've never really done that, but we do believe we are to take God's light into our community.

Some see harm in participating. That's OK. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs and Romans 14:1-8 tell us not to judge others if something causes them to stumble. So we don't judge, we say do what you feel comfortable with, whether or not you participate in Halloween.

If you're out with your kids tonight, I pray you'll stay safe. Enjoy your time as a family and with your friends and neighbours. And don't eat too much candy, it's not good for you! Blessings on you!

grace...Kathie

Ya Gotta Have Faith

2010-10-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

There's a time for everything. Even when you don't want a thing, it has its time. There's really nothing you can do about it. Just sit back and relax and let yourself be comforted with the knowledge that God is ultimately in control. Whatever it is, it will be for your good because God IS good and His love endures forever. Even if it doesn't seem a good thing I believe that God will work all things together for good.

Man, that just seems to really bug me sometimes. That's because I really want to be in control. I'm human. And besides, I know I'm always right. Well, at least I think I'm sometimes right. At least when it comes to what is good for me, for my family - I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Am I? Hmmmm.....

I didn't think a lot of things were right, but apparantly they weren't as bad as I predicted. If I were to base my predicitons of the future on what has happened in the past, there isn't anything that has happened to me that didn't work out well in some way. Even the really stupid choices I've made and some of the really bad things I've done... well, God has used them for good in my life. Even the choices that were made for me turned out to be blessings in my life.

So what is there to worry about? Nothing really. I can trust God. He's bigger than He appears in my mind. So big, I can't even fathom how big His kind of big is!

I guess I'll have to have a little bit of faith... how much? About as much as say, oh I don't know... a little mustard seed?

grace...Kathie

2010-09-06T18:51:00.000-07:00

The sound of rain on the leaves of the magnolia tree gently woke me this morning. Lazy. Who wants to get up when it's so cozy in bed. Luckily, I didn't have to get up for anything in particular. However, as I lay there I realized that this was the signal that summer was offically over.

Today was a perfect 'get back to work' day. School for the boys starts tomorrow too. It's just that time of year. Everything begins to rev up and life will get busy. By Christmas I'll be tired, so tired I'll want vacation time again. But Christmas break will revive me and then January retreat will refresh me and I'll have the get up and go to get done what has to get done until .... around April, I'll start to think about vacation again. By June I'll be ready for a change.

I'm grateful for another July on campus for my two intensive courses. This past summer I managed to get through a grueling month of 16 hour days of class, reading, studying, writing... it was hard. But I made it through! And I passed! That gave me some confidence to carry on.

Then after that month in school I'll run to my trailer again for the month of August and when I get there I'll breath deeply the salt air and fall into a restful sleep and perhaps, like Rip Van Winkle, I'll sleep for 20 years! Not likely.

For now, I just need to think about getting started again. Work tomorrow, school for the kids, Tuesday night knitting group, management meetings, staff meetings, SPAC meetings... so much to get into and just thinking about it is tiring. Got to get it all lined up before September 20th when my online course starts.

Just thinking about it all is overwhelming... !

Ok God, I need you right about now!

grace.... kathie

The Spirit's Prompting

2010-07-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

Well, tonight I was studying and trying to write my paper for my course. I was really struggling to gather my thoughts and put them into some sort of coherence. However, nothing I tried was working so I got up and went out on my deck, my lovely deck, and sat on the swing and stared out at the mountains. Enjoying the warmth with a bit of a breeze, I let go and just relaxed and began to pray.

"God, help me to concentrate. I can't do this, I need your help!"

And then into my head popped Gladys. Gladys is a woman who comes to our church. She's getting up there in years and has been in the hospital for a couple of months now. She is such a sweetheart and is always encouraging. Gladys has been a member of The Salvation Army for so long and only came to Maple Ridge a few years ago. But I'm always so happy when she's in church because she is so encouraging. So I thought, "I need to go and visit Gladys, perhaps tomorrow." But no, the words were right there in my head - get up and go now. But it was almost the end of visiting hours and I reasoned that tomorrow would be fine. But that feeling wouldn't go away. So up I got and went - hubby and the kids aren't here, no one to look after, just me. I can go. I can do what I want.

Gotta tell ya, I don't like visiting hospitals. There is something about it that drains me emotionally and I always leave the hospital/funeral stuff to my dear hubby. I can't do both administration and all the pastoral stuff at the same time - I just can't turn it off and on like that. It was also the first time I'd been up to that ward since my mom passed away there last October.

Gladys seemed a bit off at first. She was subdued and I thought, "Man, she's really losing it, this is like what happened to my mom." I held her hand and it was really limp. She seemed to be talking a lot of nonsense, asking me about things that I knew nothing about. Anyway, after a while she asked me if I was still doing flower arranging and it occurred to me that she thought I was someone else. Sure enough, she thought I was someone from Abbotsford. She didn't recognize me because it's only just recently that I've let my hair go curly (who can fight it!) and I got new glasses. When she realized who I was, it was just too funny.

The look of horror on her face was priceless.

Then the laughs started and the jokes were flying and the good hearted newfie girl was all smiles for me! That's when the real visit started.

We sang some great songs... He Touched Me, Amazing Grace, Blessed Assurance... It is Well With My Soul.... (the nurses came to listen) We laughed some more. We read God's word together and we prayed. We talked about the important things, the things that are important to God. We talked about His will for us - His perfect will and what His purpose is for us. What a grand and glorious time it was.

I was feeling so down about my lack of concentration. I told her that I had left my studies at home to take a break and she asked me all about them.

"You're a great leader!" she said. "You're a special person."

My heart was full. Gladys always has an encouraging word for me.

God told me to come here for a good reason.

Obedience is always the best way.

I love you Gladys. See you again soon....

grace... kathie

Is the Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

2010-07-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

Good question!

For me, it's neither. You see, I would look and say, "That glass has 50% water in it."

I'm a realist. Sometimes I feel quite positive and the spin is hope and faith that 50% more will show up. Sometimes I feel quite negative and think that it will always and only be filled to 50% capacity. But most of the time, I just say it like it is.

Some people find that negative and would prefer me, I'm sure, to be more positive. And when I refuse to join in with the doom & gloom bunch, they say I'm always looking on the bright side. You can never win when you're a realist.

Beware the positive police. They like to look for all the people who are sounding a little negative and try and cheer you up, encourage you to place a positive spin on whatever the issue is. If you can't get with their program, well then you're labelled "sooooo negative."

I wonder what the positive police would do with Psalm 13? You see, this is my kind of psalm. The writer acknowledges how they feel, just listen....

Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

David here, is not afraid to say what he's feeling and he writes it down for all to see. He doesn't keep his troubles to himself and put on a happy face when the others are around. No! He lets it all hang out. I like that because when I'm feeling down and unhappy, a little negative perhaps, I like to talk it out. I like to write it out. I don't know why I'm that way, I just am! When things are getting me down I react and my first reaction is usually, "Oh no! How will I cope?" or some such crazy question. I'll ask God what the heck He thinks He's doing letting it happen. Doesn't He know I've had enough? Doesn't He realize I can't take any more stress?

But then, I begin to realize as I talk it out and share it with my friends, that it will be ok. The stress will begin to ease as my friends reassure me. And if I sense for one minute that I'm really discouraging someone else, then I'm usually quick to pick up my bootstraps and tell people just what David did next:

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

In my journey of faith, in spite of my position as a minister, I'm still not always there. I can usually handle the biggies - oh ya, bring on a major disaster, illness or death and I'm good with that. I can see the beginning and the end. But bring on all those minor little stresses that add up over time, that sometimes never seem to end and the end of my rope quickly shows up. My last nerve gives up and dies! I think sometimes that I'd like to be all positive and paint a rosy picture on everything that happens, but I'm just not there yet. I'm working on it, give me a break!

But we are all different. Some of us have an easier time than others to see the positive side of things. Many times I'm going along and I'm just as positive as the next person. But when the stresses of life add up, it can get a teeny bit tiring holding my head up. That usually happens when I take my eyes off God - I get so busy with the business of living, that I forget to renew myself.

Forgive me for being human! ;o)

He does.

He forgives me for being negative sometimes.

He reminds me that some of his most negative servants made it into His Holy Book!

So I'm in good company.

And I will trust Him. I will trust God's unfailing love. I love to sing all about it.... have a listen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwH-Hf6LmJ4&feature=related

grace... kathie

My Ideal Life

2010-06-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

One of the books I'm reading for my course this summer is Becoming a Resonant Leader. The back of the book says, "Resonant leaders are attuned to the needs and dreams of the people they lead. They create conditions in which people can excel. They listen to life's wake up calls and enhance thier capacity for excellence." It's an interesting concept and I'm enjoying the book, however, it's full of exercises of self reflection. So right now I'm answering questions about my ideal life, my philosphy of lie and what I want to accomplish before I die! I have to list 27 things I want to do before I die... I'm having trouble coming up with that many things. All this is leading up to my personal vision. It's hard work looking inside!

Well, I'm procrastinating, so I'll go and finish my exercises in self discovery!

grace... kathie

The Trouble With Words

2010-05-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

I'm having trouble with words. Writing words, speaking words, hearing words.... words are just giving me a hard time lately. And yet, here I am putting a string of them together on this page. But then, I'm just rambling... which I'm wondering if that can be considered "real" writing. I'm told it is. I'm still not happy about that. I've always been able to write down what I really want to say. When something is on my mind, out it flows from my fingers onto the page or rather the screen.

Up until this past year, they came out sounding just the way I've wanted. But now, even when I manage to formulate a thought, out they come and when I read them back, they're not lined up the way I like and often convey a message or tone I'm not happy with. It's the same with the spoken word. I find I'm having to explain myself a few different ways so that people understand what I'm trying to say. Even in my preaching I ramble and my mind wanders and I'm having a mini panic inside wondering "what am I saying? where was I going with this?" Where are my God given words???!!!

It's me. I'm not lined up the way I want to be. The words are just a reflection of a deeper situation. If you read back on this blog you'll see why. Started last year with anxiety and depression after a year of trying to recover from major surgery. Then it was topped off with the illness and death of my mother.

No wonder.

See, I know the reason. I just don't like it.

And no matter how hard I try, I can't make myself sound light, airy and funny. But then, not much is funny these days and that's just the way it is. I laugh and participate in the fun, but inside I'm thinking, "I just want to go lay down and read my book."

So I'm wondering how I can move forward from this? I start school in July. Master of Arts in Leadership. The two courses I'm taking this summer sound interesting so I'm hoping that they'll light a spark in me that hasn't been there for a while.

And yet, here you are reading my .... written words. Imagine that.

And just in case my words aren't enough for you, here is a light jazzy number.... enjoy! (the words to Words are below...)

Words
a letter and a letter on a string
will hold forever humanity spellbound

Words
possession of the beggar and the king
everybody, everyday
you and I, we all can say

Words
regarded as a complicated tool
created by man, implicated by mankind

Words
obsession of the genius and the fool
everybody, everyday,
everywhere and everyway

Words!
Find them, you can use them
Say them, you can hear them
Write them, you can read them
Love them, fear them

Words
transmitted as we're fitted from the start
received by all and we're sentenced to a life with

Words
impression of the stupid and the smart
everybody, everyday
you and I, we all can say

Words
inside your head can come alive as they're said
softly, loudly, modestly or proudly
Words
expression by the living and the dead
everybody, everyday
everywhere and everyway

Words!
Find them, you can use them
Say them, you can hear them
Write them, you can read them
Love them, fear them

Sad, Stressful Days

2010-04-15T22:04:00.000-07:00

Some days things happen in your life that make you doubt everything you do, why you do it and prompt you to question whether or not you should keep doing it. It seems insane to keep doing something that brings such stress and sadness into your life. Its' like some relationships - more often than not you find yourself not liking the other person, you're upset with them, there's not much they do right in your eyes and yet you keep the relationship going. You know you should part ways - but you hang in there, hoping against all hope that things will improve. Oh, sometimes things are good, you have some laughs, some tender moments... and that's what gives you hope. But in the end, when the other person is treating you with disregard and more often than not - not thinking of you at all, it can just gets too much.

These are the days that test your faith, determine your fortitude and force you to re-examine your motives and all that you stand for. Am I partly to blame? Is this what I expected? Can I change this outcome? If I can, do I want to change it?

If you can get through a sad day, the next might not be so bad. Or maybe it will. The question is, do you wait around to find out? Or do you just made the decision and end it?

These days are stressful, depriving you of sleep and shorting out the zip in your zap.

And yet, thank God for these days for they are often the ones that inspire the writer's thoughts to flow forth onto the page, unblocking the months long traffick jam of words on the mental landscape.

And then you feel better... well, a little bit, anyway.

And no, this isn't about my marriage.

Some days, like today, I just need.....

grace.... kathie

Olympic Fever

2010-02-15T15:06:00.000-08:00

The city of Vancouver has been invaded! People from all over Canada and the world have descended upon the city to see the Olympics and be a part of the excitement. I haven't been all that tuned in to the excitement. I'm not that much of a sports fan (other than occasional basketball games or figure skating) and I have an aversion to the NHL from a long ago over exposure from three older brothers and a hockey coach father.

However, last Friday night I decided that we should at least watch the opening ceremonies for a while to see what they had put together. My attention was captured right away. I sat mesmerized by the spectacular special effects and sense of pride in who we are and what we are all about. The inclusion of the First Nations as hosts and their dancing held me spellbound and as the athletes marched in I cheered along with the crowd as Team Canada appeared.

For once, it wasn't about the politicians or the flashy celebrities and their glitz. It was about us, everyday Canadians, that live and work and participate in our communities. It wasn't about impressing anyone, it was about sharing our story with the world - and we did it with pride.

Not once did I hear any of the same old hooey about our identity crisis. No, Canadians know exactly who we are and we are not ashamed to be ourselves - nice, polite, welcoming, diverse, complicated, multi focussed, bilingual... and proud to be Canadian.

Since Friday I've been tuning into the various sports events and right now, as I write this, I'm actually watching women's hockey. You know, the women are great hockey players and I'm really enjoying the lack of brutality that often accompanies men's professional hockey. For once its about the sport and skating and skill with the stick and puck. I can get into that.

Me watching hockey? Oh, that's too funny!

Tonight, more figure skating... tomorrow... skiing...

Wednesday we're planning a trip downtown into the chaos! Robson square, skating, Vancouver Art Museum. I'm looking forward to it.

Enjoy the Olympic Games everyone!

grace... kathie

We'll Meet Again....

2010-02-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

This past week my Aunt Norah, 93yrs old, went to be with her Lord ... and my mom. She was the last surviving child of James and Norah Harman and came to Canada in 1926 with her father, step-mother and younger sister, Annie (my mom). Just six weeks later her father died and they had several difficult years ahead. Left behind in England was older sisters Lily, Carrie and Mary and older brother James.

Next to my mom, I loved my Auntie Norah best. I think it's because we were kindred spirits. I loved her spunky behaviour and when she laughed the room lit up. Her and my mom were a pair! She became a Christian in the 1970's and from that time forward she was always on about God. Being young, I thought she was going a bit off the deep end, but as my own relationship with God deepened, I realized that she really just had a great friend in Jesus and wanted that same joy for me. As a result she had a great influence on my spiritual development.

We always used to enjoy taking the children to visit Aunt Norah and Uncle Frank, and they always put on a nice little lunch for us and we always spent the time having great conversations, filling each other in on the latest news. They were always such great times. I remember when Ed and I were getting ready to become officers in TSA, she was so encouraging to us. Her and my Uncle Frank would pray for us and tell us how proud they were of us. I'll never forget them cheering us on as we marched down the aisle at Massey Hall in Toronto at our commissioning in 1992. I know she was so proud of me. It gave me such happiness to see her and my mother like that.

I'm so glad I took the opportunity to see her in October when I was back in Ontario for my mother's funeral. We had a lovely visit at the nursing home and even though she was much more fragile than I'd ever seen her, she knew who we were and even knew who the youngest boys were. I'm so glad I took Nathan & Evan to meet their great aunt and have a chance to talk to her and get a sense of who she was.

When it was time to say goodbye, I knew I would likely never see her again. We hugged, we kissed and was said "so long..." and we sang, "We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when...." But we both knew, we knew for sure.... we'll meet one day in Heaven and we'll all sit down together and have a great cuppa and a gab together and catch up on the latest news....

I miss her. I miss them both. My life was so much richer because I had them in my life.

I'll always love you Auntie Norah!

Cheerio!

Kathie

Long, Long, Long Stay... Yay!

2010-01-30T10:31:00.000-08:00

Do you know we've been in our current appointment for almost 13 years now? That's a long time. Our first two appointments, in spite of seeing great increase in ministry, were short lived. I suppose that since things took off quickly they wanted us to go somewhere else and see things take off quickly in those places too. However, both ministries pretty much died out and the first had to be resurrected again. The second, Chinese Ministries, never recovered from officer moves and is no longer in existence.

However, our current ministry has grown and evolved into something that will leave a lasting legacy of God's provision in this community. Not because we're so great, but because we stayed long enough to figure out how to do it here! We're a bit slow... ;o)

I think I'll have to write about this.

grace... Kathie

A New Year

2010-01-01T22:34:00.000-08:00

I don't think I've ever been so glad to see the end of any year before. We've suffered so many losses, health problems and it just has been one difficult situation after another.

Goodbye, seriously, I really mean - GOODBYE 2009.

HELLO 2010!

What will you bring to me this year? More change? More of the same? New vistas to explore? New friends? Better health? More weight loss (yes, yes, yes!!!)? Will we move? Will we stay?

I'm keeping my eyes on Jesus because I just don't know what to think anymore. Have you ever been like that? People ask me what I'd like to do, where I'd like to move for our next appointment. I just don't know. I really don't have any clue. Actually, I don't really want to do anything at all.

I'm so disconnected. My mind wanders, even when people are speaking to me, sometimes I just don't hear everything they say. I was at the opening of a new centre in a neighbouring city a while ago and I think I walked away from someone while they were talking to me. I'm especially disconnected in a crowd. I used to love crowds, going from one person to the next chatting and laughing. Now I stand there and feel like I'm not really there. What a strange feeling.

Someone told me it would be like this. After the death of someone close - like a mother. And even though I'm like this, I'm really feeling ok about her loss. I've let myself remember her often, cry when I need to, talk about her when I want to...

Christmas Eve I laughed at myself and cried at the same time. Somehow I ended up driving home on my own from the Candlelight Service. It struck me that I would normally have her beside me on the drive and her and I would say...

"Did you enjoy the service tonight mom?"
"Oh yes, wasn't it a lovely service!"
"Yes, it was, wasn't it. Didn't the girls sing nice?"
"Oh, they're soooooo beautiful and sign soooooo beautiful!"
"Yes, they do, don't they."

So I had this conversation with myself. I actually said it out loud! It made me cry, laugh and it felt good. It's funny, but these memories hit me now and then. And I'm ok with that. The tears are coming less and less and the memories are becoming sweeter as the days go by.

That's why I think 2010 is going to be a better year.

I'm ready for a new year.

Take a big breath.

Take a step forward.

Pray like crazy.

grace... Kathie

Safe in the Arms of Jesus

2009-10-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, October 8th, 2009, my mother, Annie Rosina Hartley, went to be with her Lord Jesus. In Salvation Army lingo she was Promoted to Glory. What a privilege it has been to have my mom with me for 11 years. When she first came to live with us she was recovering from Breast Cancer surgery and she wasn't up to her usual energy levels. But she recovered and we spent a few years with her being quite independent. However, eventually her dementia increased and she had her first stroke a few years ago. We had switched roles. I became the parent.

What a great mother she was. Even though she had a difficult life she made mine wonderful and poured her love into me. I loved her hugs and kisses and everywhere I went until the very end I knew her love was with me. Whatever I have today, whatever I have become, whatever I have accomplished - it's because of my mother and what she taught me, what she did for me and what she poured into me. I owe her so much.

My mom was the kind of mom that everyone wants to have. Friends would often say, "I love your mom!" As a teenager I would usually replay, "Yeah, but you don't have to live with her!" But I knew how special she was even then. She was a Sunday School teacher and was the Jr. Soldier Sargent in her Salvation Army Corps. She was also a Guider and was a Brown Owl for 13 years. I can't imagine how many children she ministered to over the years but I know that she was very special to all of them.

I don't think you're ever really prepared to lose a parent, no matter how long they live. I can't imagine what life will be like without her. I feel like an orphan. I want her back.

However, I know that she is full of joy with God, living in the room He has prepared for her. I've read John 14 to many people who have lost loved ones. I've often thought how empty it must sound when you're filled with grieft.

But I tell you it is a comfort. I feel better knowing that she's safe and with Jesus, that she's happy and at peace with a whole body and spirit. No more paralysis. No more strokes. No more bed sores. With her voice back I'm sure she's singing away..... "I'm forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air...."

I'll join her one day. Not too soon, but when I do I know I'll be so happy to be in her arms once again. Mom, Dad, Me and Jesus!

grace... kathie

Overwhelmed

2009-09-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

It's so hard sometimes. Life comes at you a thousand miles per hour and you try to cope with it - just one task at a time, just one day at a time. But it gets very tiring. Sometimes you just have to say 'no' and take a break. This past weekend my husband was away at a Men's Retreat Camp. I didn't know if I would be prepared to make it through the whole weekend unscathed! Every day the anxiety is kept at bay with carefully laid out plans for the day interspersed with time for doing the things that keep me healthy.

Like eating six times a day. Do you have any idea how much time eating takes? Somehow I resent it even though I know how important it is. That's because when I don't eat I get shaky and start to get really irritable and depressed. Gotta keep the blood sugar up!

And sleeping eight hours each night. Do you know how hard that is? I wake up at six am buzzing away with a rush of cortisol. If I don't go to bed on time, I won't get enough sleep and then the anxiety will buzz away all day.

Like sitting with the CES Machine. 45 minutes every day at least once. Sigh....

For so long I've avoided spending much time on myself and have been running to take care of the kids, take care of Ed, take care of my mom, save the world.... That takes a lot of time and energy.

Giving myself a pedicure? No time.

Doing my nails? No time.

A bubble bath? No time.

Getting my hair done... WAIT! I refuse to budge on that one! You just have to take care of the roots!

Then there's the organizational side of life. I don't even like opening my bedroom closet. God only knows what will fall out and hit me on the head. Drawers are full. Put the clothes on top. No room left on the bookshelf? Pile 'em up on the night table, then on the floor beside the bed.

The only way to cope with this is retirement. That won't be for at least another 15 years at the rate we're going. Perhaps I'll win a lottery. Oooops! Don't gamble. Perhaps some obscure relative will die and leave me all his money. Perhaps... heh, heh... perhaps not! Well, maybe the Reader's Digest Sweepstakes? Is that really gambling?

Oh well, I'm just going to have to continue to take it one day at a time.

God, thank goodness you're here with me. What in heaven's name would I do without you!?

I ask you!

SIGH....sigh....

grace... Kathie

Cherishing Mom

2009-09-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

I thought I was prepared. Mom is going to be 89 in November and I thought, in a practical way, she's had a great life, survived breast cancer and already experienced a stroke. However, she's got some health problems and if it's her time and God chooses to take her home, then I'm ready for that. Every year at Christmas I think to myself, "Is this her last year with us?"

But I wasn't ready. I wasn't anywhere near ready.

When she had her stroke on August 28th I wasn't sure what to expect. She seemed to be trying to speak the next day and it looked promising. However, soon an infection set in and her lungs filled up with fluid from her heart not pumping properly. Then she just went to sleep. She wouldn't wake up and when we tried to feed her she just clenched her teeth and slept. So we waited, watched and hoped the antibiotics and other medications would work.

That was when I realized I really wasn't ready.

I prayed for God to either take her quickly or heal her - not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. And I cried. And cried. And then cried some more.

I didn't want my mom to suffer any more. But I also didn't want to lose her.

Then she woke up. And every day she is just that little bit more alert. Her spontaneous words have become spontaneous phrases. She smiles, responds and seems to have been given a kick start. I can't believe how happy I felt. But I also felt a bit selfish.

So now we're waiting to see how much she progresses. That will determine her immediate future. Will she go to the rehab ward and then a nursing home? Or will her heart give up the ghost causing her to deteriorate?

Well, right now she's here. So I'm taking it one day at a time and praising God for every moment I still have her to love. So I'm asking God to help me love her the best that I can. I'm cherishing whatever time I still have to spend with her. Yesterday I fed her lunch and then sang some hymns for her. She closed her eyes and smiled while I sang. She loves music. I've been privileged to take care of my mom in my home for 11 years now. Every day has been a give from God. My children have had their Grandma and she has seen eight of her great-grandchildren every week and they've had a chance to know her love. God is so good.

If you're reading this post, please pray for my mom and pray for me and my family, that God will give us strength, courage and wisdom to deal with this time in our lives and in making decisions for my mom.

grace... Kathie

2009-08-21T13:05:00.000-07:00

It's funny how things happen in your lives that can change everything.

What was supposed to be a simple surgery turned into a journey and ended with a completely new perspective on health and well being.

A child's encounter with a dog changed our lives and created stress and sadness. We had a pet. Now we don't have a pet.

We go along each day and we like the stability of our lives. We like that, aside from a few not far from home adventures, we do the same thing day in and day out. We can count on that. It makes us feel secure.

Then one day everything changes.

Is there anything you can count on?

Thank goodness that God never changes. He always stays the same. He's always there - even when we can't see Him, even though we can't feel him.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

grace... Kathie

ps. Update for Good Bye Boomer - good news of a sort. It turns out that Boomer didn't bite the little boy. There were no teeth marks at all, he swiped at him with his very large paw. Even though that wouldn't have changed our decision, it still makes me feel a little better.

Walking

2009-08-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

I went on a brisk walk this morning. Just 10 minutes to Hopkins Pier. To get there you have to walk along a beautiful lane, covered by a canopy of trees, trees as tall as the sky. I love walking that lane, especially in the morning with the sun peeking through the tops. No matter the temperature, that lane is cool and refreshing. After the lane you go up a short but steep hill along a ways and down another hill to the pier.

At the end of the pier I sat and stared at the water, the sun shining down on it looked like sparkling diamonds. No matter where I stood on the pier, the line from the sun made the trail of diamonds lead straight to me. I sat and pondered the truth that God's light finds me no matter where I am. I sensed His presence at that moment and as the heat from the sun warmed my body, the light of God's love filled my heart.

I don't often feel that these days. It's only that I have a memory of it. That memory has been my sustaining power through the darkness, a dark so thick, almost like a fog that surrounds and confounds you. You can see the light but it is a distant light and you can't reach it. I heard Hell once described as a place where you look up and can see Heaven but you can't reach it.

I hope that that feeling never leaves me again. I hope it stays. But the reality is that life is hard and there are hard times we face. When that happens, sometimes we can't see God, feel His love or sense His presence.

But we believe He is there.

We trust in His unfailing love.

And that is faith. That is the faith that sustains us through the darkness.

grace... Kathie

Good Bye Boomer

2009-08-08T20:21:00.000-07:00

A very traumatic event happened this past weekend with our dog, Boomer. A little boy named Tristan who has some special needs approached him behind our trailer where he was tied up and probably a bit too quickly - and Boomer bit his face. He was cut up really bad and and covered with blood and his mother who was near by picked him up and rushed him to the washroom. I followed right behind her. It was shocking to see the amount of blood and there was big gashes on his head and face, one that narrowly missed his eye, and his lip. The camp nurse came and patched him up and then his mother took him up to the hospital in Sechelt to get "glued" back together.

We were devastated. Boomer came to us just a couple of months before his 2nd birthday. He had been sold by his breeder to a family in North Vancouver and it was not a good situation for him. He was a gentle, calm dog who ended up being terrorized by two other aggressive German Shepherds and when the breeder visited there because the owners complained he was too skittish, the breeder took him back. He was eight months old. The breeder re-socialized him in their house and he became their son's dog for a while. While visiting his kennels looking at Golden Doodle puppies, we saw him. Evan being very scared of large dogs, the breeder brought Boomer out and it was a match in heaven. He stood stock still and didn't even blink when 6yr old Evan went hesitantly to pet him. Evan asked us if we could have that dog!

Boomer quickly became a part of our family and he was really Ed's dog. He followed him everywhere, quickly obeyed and followed our direction. He loved to play and have a "kong" thrown for him and loved to run and frolic with some of the other camp dogs. However, there were a couple of incidents that convinced us that as obedient and gentle as he was, he was a skittish dog that frightened easily by the noise of trucks, especially the garbage truck and was territorial. He was aggressive when people came on our property and jumped at people at our campsite if they came up to the property too quickly. We had him neutered and he calmed down.

But two incidents happened with our grandchildren that gave us further cause for concern. One day when Sydney was 2 yrs old, she accidentally stepped on him while he was sleeping between the sofa and coffee table. He quickly reared up and swiped his paw at her leaving a couple of scratches on her. Then not even a year later, our other 2 yr old granddaughter approached him while he was hiding from the children in my mother's bedroom. We're not sure what happened, but it left a scratch and a small bruise on Alethea's face. That made us realize that no matter how gentle or obedient he was, he did not like being approached by small children and we had to be extra careful when the little ones were over. That's why he was tied up at the trailer, at the back, to be on the safe side. But when all is said and done, you can't always predict what children will do and the worst case scenario happened.

However, this story has a happy ending. We thought we may have to put the dog down because we didn't want to take any more chances. But after talking to a vet, the SPCA and some friends, we felt that perhaps we should find another home for him. But where? Who?

The my Tuesday night ladies arrived for a day trip up here on the coast. We were going to Molly's Reach for lunch, hit the market and then the yarn shop in Sechelt. But there was a new lady in the group named Laurie and when she heard what happened to our dog she spoke up and said, "I'll take him." What? We were shocked and weren't sure if she was serious. But no, she was. "I have 10 acres and no small children and no grandchildren. And I work for a dog trainer."

We're still not sure why or how this all happened. We're still feeling the trauma from last night when we saw a young child covered in blood. And less than 24 hours later, Boomer has a new home. He went home tonight with his new owner. It was an emotional good bye for Ed and I.

But Ed told me that last night when he was walking Boomer he was praying and asking for an answer to this situation. Begging for an alternative to ending Boomer's life. He heard a breeze in the trees and looked up - it was as if he could hear God's whisper to him, giving him comfort. God had an answer even though we couldn't think of a solution. In our grief and distress God came to us and spoke loud and clear.

Tristan is fine today and was already wanting to pet another dog. Apparently, it wasn't enough to traumatize him and make him scared. His cuts will heal and there will be scars.

But it could have been much worse. We're thankful it wasn't.

Good bye, Boomer.

My heart aches that you've left us and I'll never forget you and the love you brought into our lives.

grace... kathie

The Long Road

2009-07-24T22:14:00.000-07:00

I looked at her face and I could tell that she was really trying hard not to let me see her fear. Even in her diminished mental state she was more concerned for me, her daughter, than she was for herself. She was trying to make the most of this temporary situation. I'm sure she was afraid I would never come back and get her ever again and that she would live the rest of her days in this God forsaken place. Actually, the place was Holyrood Manor and it was a lovely and bright place - much nicer than some I'd been in over the years. The staff were friendly and cheery and her room looked out over the front parking lot so that she could sit in her chair and see who was coming and going. She had her own TV and washroom. We had brought her pictures and her memory album so that she could look at it and remember, because new situations always made her more confused.

My mother, who will be 89 this November, came to live with me 11 years ago. She was reasonably healthy, having just gone through a bout of breast cancer. My biggest fear was that she would become ill and no one would be there to help her. But rather than having some big deal with more cancer or a heart attack, my mom has developed dementia. Four years ago a stroke made sure that her mind would never be her own again and little tiny strokes are stealing her memories and abilities one by one.

However, even though she calls me Norah sometimes (her sister's name) I know she knows I'm her daughter. In the morning she knows I'm her baby girl, her one and only girl. By evening she wants to know when she's going home and where is Dad. Then I have to tell her the news all over again that Dad is gone, he passed away 28 years ago now. You can tell by the look on her face that this is a painful revelation. It breaks my heart every time.

It's all I can do these days to remain strong for her. I'm beginning to break under the strain of looking after her while holding down a full time job and having two young boys at home. But she is so dependent on me and I'm her safety net. All she wants is to be with her family and it breaks my heart to think of placing her in a nursing home. Whatever happens, I know that God will look after us both and that He will give us wisdom and guidance.

When I went to pick her up she was sitting in the dining room with three other ladies. One of them was giving the LPN a really hard time and cursing at her. My mom and the other two ladies were just sitting there, trying not to acknowledge the outburst. I came up behind her and leaned around to give her a kiss on the cheek. She cried out in surprise! When she realized I was there to take her home her reaction was priceless. She got up and looked at all the ladies and said, "Well, good bye ladies. It was nice to meet you and I hope I never see you again!"

I love that woman!

grace... Kathie

Fences

2009-07-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking about fences lately. Why? Well, the camp built one behind our trailer and its caused me to ponder the purpose of good fences.

First, they give you privacy. No one can see through a fence, unless it is a lattice fence, like the one they put up behind our trailer. But to see through you’d have to go up to the fence and peer through the lattice work to actually see. That would be rude, wouldn’t it? Would anyone in their right mind, other than Gladys Kravitz, do something like that?

Second, fences keep people out, although someone could climb over. That would be awkward though and most people, aside from unruly 11 year old boys, respect them.

Third, they keep things in. If you have a dog a fence is a good idea because, unless the dog is a tireless digger, they’ll stay in a fenced yard.

I finished at three. I don’t want there to be too many more reasons than that to like fences. I like openness and vulnerability, it appeals to me as a quality. Except that after a while a life without fences can become difficult to manage. If anyone can see in, come in and anything can leave… well, let’s just say that kind of life quickly becomes one of constant activity and can spiral down into chaos.

And while fences have their uses – I like the lattice kind. You can see a bit through it, but not completely. It’s a fence that is kind of inviting.

It says, come and see if I’m home – but don’t bombard me with your presence.
It says, come and knock and let me invite you in.
It says, I’m open to visiting with you, but with limitations.

Sometimes, we need fences like this in our lives. Our work can crowd our lives and worm its way into our home life. Friends can barge in without an invitation and intrude into time that we need to reserve for recharging or feeding our souls. Even family can make demands on us that can seem reasonable but drain us of our energy.

They say fences make good neighbours.

I think they help people stay healthy as well.

And so I think I'll spend some time building some fences... lattice ones, I think.

grace... Kathie

2009-07-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

As I write I'm sitting here watching the memorial service, listening to the tributes in word and song, I'm reminded that Michael Jackson was much more than what the tabloids and media fed to us. The irreverent names, the lawsuits, the criminal charges, the surgeries... his eccentricities... convinced many that he was crazy, weird... Wacko.

I grew up to the tunes of Michael and danced my heart out to the beat of his music. His poster adorned my walls as a young teen along with Donny Osmond and so many others cut out of Teen magazine. I remember Ed and I attending the Jackson concert at Maple Leaf Gardens - the Victory Tour - it was outstanding! I don't think I ever enjoyed a concert more than that one.

To those who did not grow up loving his music and following his career perhaps wouldn't understand the way that many feel about him. But he was important to our world, the world we grew up in.

Today, they are remembering the good things that he did. They're remembering the things that he accomplished. They're remembering the giving to charity - he gave more to charity than any other pop star. They're remembering the legacy of music that he left us. Through his music we heard him grow, then we heard him blossom, then we heard him change, then we heard him express his journey, then we heard his anguish and pain... he showed us that he was just a man.

Michael believed in God. He struggled to find the right way to express this belief and remained on his journey. The children of Martin Luther King spoke about how he called their mother when she was dying and told her how he had been praying for her. I think he spent his life seeking God. He was on a journey. No matter what we thought of him through the tabloid feeding frenzy, you cannot deny that he had a huge impact he had on our world, on the people that he touched .

I know he made my life much more full because of his musical contribution.

I will always remember him.

I will always dance to his music and when I can't dance anymore, I know my heart will remember .

I will pray for his children that they will find peace and that God will bless them.

May God bless his family and those that knew him personally and who are grieving a lost son, brother, good friend...

I hope in His journey that he found God, because I know that God loved Michael Jackson.

Heal The World

Make It A Better Place

For You And For Me

And The Entire Human Race

There Are People Dying

If You Care Enough

For The Living

Make A Better Place

For You And For Me

Lord, heal the world, and let me be a part of that work...

Farewell, Michael.

A Growing Family

2009-07-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

Life never ends up the way you thought it would. You have a picture in your mind as you go along - when your children are young, of course! Then as they grow and mature, they make up their own story - and it changes yours. I never thought I would be a grandmother at 41 never mind a grandmother of 8 at 50! I pictured my daughters going off to university, then establishing a career and then getting married and having children starting right about.... well, now.

However, in a healthy family, each child gets to determine how they'll follow God's plan for their life when they come of age. Parents never really know what to expect when it comes to their kids. So as I experience the reality of being a Nana so early while still having young boys at home, I sense the hand of God in all of this. God is leading us on a journey and it's going in a different direction than we thought it would. It affects our life in so many ways - the direction of our work and vocation, our retirement, how we spend our time... everything changes.

That's not always a bad thing.

Enjoy the pictures... Kathie

Papa's Girls Sydney & Alethea (& baby Lily)

Mailea & Nana

Mailea, Sydney & Bronwyn blowing raspberries!

Bronwyn Sheena Anne born March 19th, 2009

Naomi Kathryn June born June 27th, 2009

... And now a reprieve.... till the next one gets married and starts having children. How many will we end up with? Who knows....

Want to make a guess?

Anxious Thoughts

2009-06-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

If ever there was a time in my life that I thought I would be an anxious and fearful person, it has escaped my mind completely. Me? Afraid? The woman who takes on the world for Jesus? Not me.

But here I am, fearful, anxious and generally unhappy with the state of my life. It will come like a thief in the night and steal my calm right out from under me. My chest will become tight, breathing will get shallow and my neck will tense. Then the adrenaline will rush upwards and my lower bowells will feel like they are going to melt... and if I can't stop it I'll begin to feel like I might cry. How did this happen. It is so complicated. It cannot be explained easily.

I knew something was wrong when I couldn't knit. When I can't concentrate on knitting, there must be an investigation. For without knitting, what kind of life would I have? What would I do? How could I cope without the endless stream of creativity that falls gracefully from two clicking needles?

So I am investigating - through the medical doctor, through a natural doctor, with a psychologist. Hopefully, I will find the answer and therein find the way out.

They say I will find the way out. They say I will get better.

With rest.

With calm and peace around me.

With time.

sigh..... I hate that I have to do this. And that is likely the attitude that got me here in the first place. God must have a reason for making me stay still.

If you're reading this, then I hope that you'll pray for me to heal and recover.

grace... Kathie

Oh my! I've been busy.... sigh...

2009-03-21T17:30:00.000-07:00

Wow! I've been so busy writing for the salvationist.ca, therubicon.org and my other blog www.kathiechiu.wordpress.com, that I've been remiss in keeping my friends and extended family up to date.

Well, here's some news....

Baby Bronwyn is here!

Sarah deliverred her at 3:04 am on the 19th of March. One push, no fuss, no muss - my daughter is a pro!

Well done, Sarah!

grace... Kathie

AhhhchiuNews!

2008-12-27T15:44:00.000-08:00

2008 has been a very eventful year for the Chiu family. If 2007 was Ed’s year to have health issues, then 2008 has definitely been Kathie’s year. It started early in January with an ultra sound and led to major surgery in March. It was a difficult surgery with complications and she was discharged from the hospital with an infection and the Norwalk Virus. Yuck! Several antibiotic allergic reactions later she finally began to walk a bit every day and was barely ready for our big trip to Italy on April 24th.

However, nothing would stop her from being ready for that and so off we went to celebrate 25 years of marital bliss together (a year and a half late, but better late than never!) Italy was the trip of a lifetime and we will never forget. We arrived in Rome and spent three nights on our own. Our friends Sue & Alan Marola from England met us there on the 4th day and off we went in a rental car to Florence for 3 nights and then to Venice for 3 nights. The museums and history! The trip of a lifetime!

Our summer was spent at Camp Sunrise. We were all up for the July long weekend and aside from filling our trailer to the brim, we had two tents and rented a cabin to accommodate everyone. So we went and got a trailer with more sleeping space in it. It was a great summer in the new trailer. We hope to take it on the road, let’s hope gas prices stay down! Perhaps we’ll see some of you on the great big road trip – we plan to head back east - if not this summer, then next. However, we do love relaxing at the trailer, just hanging out with the kids and swinging on the swing, sitting by the water, it’s so nice and relaxing. We feel so much better after a long relaxing break like that.

Our ministry continues to do well. Ed is RCMP Chaplain here and enjoys that. This fall we hired a director, Darrell Pilgrim, to take over Kathie’s day to day responsibilities at The Caring Place and that has given her more time in pastoral role and more time to write. After a long recovery it’s great to have her back at the piano on Sundays and back in the pulpit with Ed. Manda, our admin asst and good friend, became our business manager. She moved up to the office beside Kathie and kicked Ed out! Those two get into trouble together. Ed’s office was moved and now he can hide and get his work done without distraction! Mike, who started out on the front lines on the midnight shift is now a supervisor and missing from the photo is Tim, our Food Services Supervisor, who is just wonderful in the kitchen and runs it very smoothly.

Evan and Nathan are growing like weeds. They are really delightful boys and we’re very proud of them. Evan has been receiving Neurotherapy for ADHD this year and aced his first report card in grade three. Way to go, Evan! Nathan is beginning to mature into a pre-teen – oh, oh! Some interesting times are a coming.

Sarah & Sheena are both expecting baby number four this year – Sarah in March and Sheena in June. That will make 8 grandchildren to knit for and play with. They are all so delightful and full of energy. Ed especially loves to visit with them and get his regular dose of cuddling! It’s just so much fun to be with them and then so great when they all go home at the end of the day!

Derek is doing very well for himself. He still lives in Langley (over the river) but works here in Maple Ridge as an outreach worker. He’s been staying with us for a few days during the storm we’ve just experienced and are enjoying having him around again. He’ll be 24 this march. Can believe it?

Kathie’s mom is still with us. It has been a real privilege to be able to look after her. If it weren’t for family helping we wouldn’t be able to have her here. She just turned 88 and her older sister Norah is still going and just turned 92. She lives with her daughter in Peterborough. We wish they could see each other again.

We want to wish you all the best in 2009. Although we’re terrible at keeping in touch, we think of you all often. Kathie continues to be challenged with health issues, however, we’re hoping they’ll be resolved soon. Keep in touch. We’re both on msgr. And facebook. Check out Kathie’s blog:

http://www.kathiechiu.com/
ejnc33@hotmail.com
kathie.chiu@gmail.com

Take care everyone and have a blessed 2009! We’re remembering you in prayer!

Luv always…. Ed & Kathie
& the ahhhchiugang!

Handmade

2008-11-21T16:47:00.000-08:00

Has anyone mentioned to you that there is a financial crisis on right now? Well, apparantly there is. People are tightening their belts this year and I thought it would be a great excuse to do something a little different to cut costs. So I'm having a handmade Christmas. I love receiving handmade items for gifts. My daughter Sheena used to make all her own cards - well, before she had three babies! She still will make one for me each birthday because she knows how much I value them. I actually value the home-made card more than I do a store bought gift.

I've knit so many items for the kids and grandkids - but usually sweaters and blankets. However, this year they're all getting knitted toys. Now, I've got one done so far, Miss Ballerina Bunny - for either Sydney or Alethea. So, seeing as we're really getting on in the season, I'm going to be knitting my little fingers to the bone. I've been procrastinating. Thank goodness for the last minute! Or else I'd never get anything done.

I'll keep you posted on the toy parade and post some pics!

grace... kathie

An Eventful Season

2008-11-17T21:37:00.000-08:00

Well, it's just about three months since I've been able to motivate myself to write. It's been so difficult to find the time to stop and reflect on what's happening in my life. That's because there is so much happening in my life. So much that I'm finding I can't breath, I can't stop to think and I can't remember anything.

Why is it that when I try to make changes to improve my life, remove stress and restructure my schedule - it becomes stressful and seems to backfire on me. I actually seem busier than before the changes.

I've done a lot of soul searching this year and know that changes had to be made. Did I make the right changes? Time will tell. In the meantime, there's so much happening in my life with health issues and family health issues, I wonder if the changes came at a bad time.

Well, one can only wonder. How do you know when to make changes? How much change can you take when there are other things going on that you have no control over?

Good questions. I don't know the answer.

Hopefully, I'll figure it out eventually.

We Rise Again

2008-08-10T16:50:00.000-07:00

Her eyes are blue, just like mine. No, I mean really just like mine - with dark blue rims, green and yellow spots next to the pupil - just like mine.

I wonder at the truly gracious aspect of God. I moaned to him that my choice of husband would always bring me brown haired and brown eyed babies. Not that I didn't love the depths of their gazes and the lustrous tresses that I would run my hands through. I longed to see myself in them. I look at my children and stare sometimes for the similarities, the shape of the eyebrows, the little bump on the ear that runs in my family, the pointy nose and long elegant fingers. I have had to satisfy my longing to recreate myself in these small details.

Them came Sydney. My granddaughter.

Same blonde hair.

Same blue eyes.

Same personality.

What a thrill. What a sense of the eternal.

"We rise again in the faces of our children...."

There I am in her. There she is in me. There we are in Christ Jesus and bonded by something even stronger than blood, than genetics... we're bonded in Spirit.

God is very gracious.

grace.... Kathie

My Magical Place

2008-07-27T21:31:00.000-07:00

Once in a while I enter into a magical place and then, and only then, am I allowed to dream wonderful things for my life. This is my truth. This is my place. This is my peace. Dreams don't come when I am in my daily routine, time limits me.

Time does not exist in my magical place. There I can create, colourful words, colourful yarns, beautiful patterns swirl in my mind begging to escape. This space is where I want to be.

Always.

Forever.

Lost in my own reverie of creativity, opening the door of mind, letting the ideas escape through my hands shaping the world around me.

Once in a while this happens. But for most of my days this is not my reality. How sad.

Tonight I will walk down this path once again. I will revel in the beauty of my space and allow its essence to inspire me. Tonight I will create.

Tomorrow?

We'll see.

K.

Ciao, bela!

2008-04-24T00:38:00.000-07:00

It's almost time for us to leave for Italy - one more sleep! Well, if I can get to sleep! Since my surgery, I've been slowly recovering. It's hard to get better when you feel like you've been run over by a truck. Every day it's just a little bit better. Not a lot, just a little. Drives me nuts!

I'm almost ready. I haven't packed yet, but I had so much to do today - write an article, finish editing another article, finish sewing up a sweater I knit, finish up the lace shawl I knit - block them both - I didn't get to the packing because I ran out of steam.

I overdid it yesterday. I've learned my limit - no more than 2 hours without stopping for a rest! I was in pain and still am a bit today. I'm going to try to rest - how will I ever do that?

Well, it's time to sleep and dream of Italy and sailing down the grand canal in a gondola with my dear hubby! This is our 25th wedding anniversary to ourselves - even though we've now been married 26 years! Our flight leaves tomorrow night!

Excited - just only slightly!

grace... Kathie

Proud Mama!

2008-04-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

This is Abigail's Shawl. My daughter Sarah designed and knit this for a mom's new baby. It was beautiful and soft. She made it out of Sirdar Snuggly DK in White and stitched Abigail's name on the bottom right corner.

Sarah picked up knitting really quickly. She has a slow but steady rythmn in her stitching and her work is always beautiful and even. Among some of her first knitting projects she tackled and lace and cable poncho for her little girl.

It's such an amazing feeling when your children like what you like and pick it up, following in what you've done. It's important not to force your stuff on them, but it is a good feeling when they appreciate what you do and try to emulate your efforts.

God is good and always surprising us with little delights that make up total happiness. I love that about Him.

grace...

Recovery, Recovery

2008-04-05T23:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been three weeks and not an easy time. I should have been able to spend more time writing, knitting and reading. However, after norwalk virus, bladder infection, drug reactions and allergic reactions, fever, chills, you name it- I'm rather knocked over. I've been reading posts on Hyster Sisters and some women have had a much harder time than I have. Thank God for my family and their help.

It's a strange sensation to have a hysterectomy. With my main source of female hormones gone, I thought I would feel something. But nothing. No huge emotional swings, no hot flashes to speak of. Nothing. As a matter of fact at this point I should be in a huge emotional swing - getting ready for the next onslaught of PMDD. Ha, ha! No ovaries! No more emotional nightmare.

Perhaps this difficult physical recovery will be rewarded with relief from the stranglehold my hormones have had on me for years. Maybe I'll have a chance to spend time with my family without the exhausted feeling of depression and sadness. Irritability and anger can depart now - there is nothing to stoke the flames.

Keep calm, don't do too much, watch more HGTV. I can write now, with a little more concentration. Work on my course. Keep my mind busy.

grace, I need God's grace.

Two Weeks

2008-03-27T21:40:00.001-07:00

I've been sliced and diced. I've been slam dunked. I am very tired. Major surgery sucks, big time. So I'm taking it easy, keeping the load light. Some days the pain is hardly there at all, other times it's like a slow, dull ache that makes my tummy feel like a huge weight (which is really is!) and that I can't carry it. The only thing to do is to lie down.

So, after checking out Hyster Sisters on my laptop in bed, I'm going to crash for the night.

I'll keep you posted.

ciao!

Not Really a Post

2008-03-27T21:02:00.001-07:00

OK, so I'm trying out a new editing program for blogging from windows live. Interesting, I don't have to go on the blog to do this, I can do it from my laptop and the program writer. Seems a bit faster and easier. Let's see, I've not got any new pics on this computer yet, so I'll try to add one I like from the samples.

Wowwww! Look at that nice pic. Orange, yummmm.

OK, so this works ok. I'll have to get serious and write a real post to try it out.

Soon.

ciao!

So here you are, Garry!

2008-02-24T12:26:00.000-08:00

Okie, dokie, Garry! Here you are. I'm writing in my blog. You know life is like a bowl of cherries... no it's not. Life is busy and you get tired and stressed. And even though you like to write, you get distracted by all the other people in your life who make constant demands on you. However, that's no excuse. The real problem is getting time on the computer!!!

So today I'll write about my excursion to Brantford, Ontario. It's really a wonderful thing to get into this monster contraption, experience it lifting off the ground (I still don't know how they do that) and a few hours later arrive on the other side of the country. What seemed so impossibly far away is only a little trip. So here I am with my friends, Garry & Dora and I'm staying at their house with their boys and April and the two dogs.

Life never changes. People don't even change much, although they do grow wiser. Underneath it all though, are the same people you knew and loved before. Too bad!!! hahahah that's for Garry if he ever reads this.

Marybelle Leach told me this morning that in 16 years I hadn't changed a bit. Isn't that funny. I know I have more wrinkles and I certainly have put on weight. I'm sure my hair is a different colour (well, that's normal for me!). And yet, she still sees the me that was there 16 years ago. A much skinnier me, a much younger me! However, I'm still a knittin gal!

I think that's because we look into a person's eyes and that's when you recognize them - even not seeing someone for 50 years and not recognizing the whole package, you would know them by looking into their eyes. And that's the thing - within them, the thing that makes a person unique - doesn't really change. The eyes are the windows of the soul they say. If that is true, then that is how we know each other.

We wrinkle, go gray and sag. However, our essence remains - and is the same.

So, no Garry, although you say you're a different person now - really, you haven't changed a bit.

And that's a good thing.

OK, so I'll write every day while I'm here since Garry was so good to loan me his laptop.

grace.

kathie

Wow! I've been a lazy blogger...

2008-01-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've been blogging and I'll have to remedy that. So, here I am. It's been an eventful winter season. Christmas (or should I say all of December) went by in a blur. It's crazy having to get ready for your own family and personal Christmas, never mind it being the busiest fundraising month of the year at work. Lots, lots, lots to do. But it came and went and here we are facing 2008 - well, already a month into it.

Now that retreat and budgets are done it is time to settle into some more writing. I'm happy to say that I've taken the plunge and am enrolled in another writing related course. This time An Introduction to Editing at Simon Fraser University. I'll be going to their downtown campus for a few Wednesday nights - it will be exciting.

Here are some pics from Sydney's 2nd birthday - we had her party last monday. What a crowd!

Here is Alethea (weesha).

This is Sydney getting ready to blow out the candles.
Hosea eating his cake.

Great Grandma delighting in her children.

Mailea looking all grown up and mature!

Sean! Surprise!

Just missing Isaac! Getting him when he's sitting still is a challenge.

I'm also taking some time to plan our trip to Italy. There are some really nice B&B's that I'm looking at. Of course, I'm having to do this all by myself as it's difficult to get Ed to sit still and go through page after page of pictures and prices and maps. He keeps popping up and down and then ends up saying, "Whatever you decide, hon, it's all right with me" and then scoots off to do something else.

Here are some B&B's I'm looking at:

http://www.ancientromance.net/english/english.html

http://www.gondoletta.it/indexeng.html

http://www.therightplace.it/homeing.html

Check them out and if you begin to browse and you see anything I might be interested in, let me know.

I'm really excited. We're going to be leaving the 25th of April and will return on the 6th of May. What a wonderful time we'll have.

Tra la for now everyone!

Chat soon.

Much, much grace....

Kathie

I've Found Family!

2007-11-24T19:53:00.000-08:00

It's been very busy in my life and finding time to sit down and write on this blog is like trying to find out who killed Mr. Battle with what and where!

Another mystery, what happened to my mother's family and where are they all, is now starting to unravel. A simple post on a geneology bulletin board in 2005 has led to a young man named Paul Sharman contacting me - my grandparents are his great great grandparents through my mother's sister, Mary. So he is the same generation as my grandchildren. He's hooked me up with another relative through my mother's sister Carrie - apparantly I still have a first cousin alive in the old neighbourhood, Bermondsy, London. He's 82 and his son Thomas (and wife Janice) have contacted me as well.

I'm so very excited! Now when I go to England, I'll have family connections to make - visits and new friendships to build.

All because of that little paragraph on a bulletin board on the internet.

Ya gotta love the net.

grace...Kathie

check out my new cousin twice removedl:
http://www.paulsharman.me.uk/index2.html

It's been so long....

2007-09-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

I know, I've been neglecting this spot and some are quite disappointed in my lack of verbosity these days. However, I'm back and willing to spill more of my guts for all and sundry who browse my way.

This has been a tough summer/fall. No doubt about it. I've been brooding about it, not happy at all. But, it's only another drop in the bucket, which is on its way to tipping over. God must know what He's doing, 'cause I certainly don't know what I'm doing.

The other day the family came over and it was a cacaphonic melee. You couldn't hear yourself think, let alone talk or anyone else for that matter. We took some pics and here are some of them.

This, of course, is Evan and Mailea with their nana. These two are so funny together - Mailea a bossy boots tries to reign in the impossible flying Evan. It's really cute too see them together.

My mom really missed us when we were away. She wants me there because I'm her anchor - however, she fared well considering her worry about me. That break is so important. Here we are clowing around in the kitchen. She is never happy with any picture of herself. Neither am I.

Ed and I have been through a lot together this summer, and it has strengthened our bond. I still want to smack him most of the time, but now its a much more loving smack than usual.

I can't say that I've been content for a while in this life I have here, however, I am learning to grow through it.

Hopefully, I'll figure out what God has for me without too much more of a struggle or just waiting until it happens. We'll see.

grace...kathie

Oh, I Hate Those Quotes of the Day!

2007-09-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, I need to heed this one....

Lazy Days at Camp Sunrise

2007-08-03T12:20:00.001-07:00

Well, here we are once again, at our favourite holiday location - Camp Sunrise. Our trailer is a comfy, cozy little home away from home where we laze around and eat when we feel like it and sleep when we feel like it. Aaahhhh, if only life could be like this forever. But alas, the money runs out and eventually we must return to the busy and complicated existence. But for now, we won't dwell on that!

Evan is sure enjoying the water. Like his older brother Derek, he loves water and I think is part fish. I'm sure if I offered him Gillyweed to be able to swim under water for an hour, he'd just love it.

I bought a wonderful book in Gibsons the other day - Charmed Knits. A book full of wonderfully bewitched patterns for the knitting wizard in all of us. I love it. Nathan asked for a wizard's robe - which will make a lovely housecoat around the house! A wizard's wand pouch will add to it and give him the opportunity to dress his part for halloween!

I love the last book of the Harry Potter series. J.K. really pulled it all together nicely and brought out images of the gospel that resonate within each one of us - making the ultimate sacrifice for others! I think I'll review it for one of my columns.

Anyway, I'm back to being a lazy vacationer, enough writing for now!

grace...Kathie

Birthday Season

2007-06-30T20:45:00.001-07:00

Yes, it is birthday time again! Time when we go broke! Five birthdays in one ten day period!!! Alethea, Hosea, Evan, Sheena & Sarah - the whole gang was here. We sat in the tent Ed had put up on the deck for the boys and with all the little kids we played "I've got a secret" under a blanket. The little ones thought this was so cool.

Birthdays are so special. We only have them once a year but it is a time when we can get together with people we love and let them know how much they mean to us. It was so nice to play with the babies and kids, I've missed them by working so much these days. One day I'll have the time to spend with them, but I'll have to make a point to plan it soon - semi retirement! I wish!

Anyway, life goes on and on and on!

I'll post pics soon as I get them on the computer!

grace...kathie

Write! Canada

2007-06-18T15:38:00.000-07:00

I just arrived home from the Christian writer's conference in Guelph. What a great time I had. Not because it was 'fun' but because I felt like I was among a group of people who all "get" me! I know that's funny to some of you, but writer's are a different breed, I'm discovering. They read - a lot! They buy tons of books and keep little bits of information, tid bits of knowledge they share them with people whenever they can. My kids have referred to me as the "encyclopedia" - "go ask mom" is what you'll hear.

So, I'm not alone - at all. A meeting of minds took place. A meeting of souls took place. It was wonderful to hear the keynote speaker read from his own books about the Cree nation at the time of the treaty signing. It was delightful to meet other writers. I met Cyndy Saltzmann from Nebraska - she writes cute mysteries and non fiction on uncluttering your life! I instantly liked her and her personality ooozes out of her. What a beautiful person.

I'm home now. Life is returning to normal. But somehow I don't think it will ever be the same nor will I think of it in quite the same light. I've known for a while now that I'm a writer, but... now I'm a writer!

grace...kathie

Ok, Ok, I'm here already!

2007-06-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

OK, so everyone has been telling me that I'm not writing on my blog. Well, it's true. It's been a while. But, BUT... I'm very busy these days with conferences and presentations and kids and well, you know my life.

So, even now I'm at a conference and it's about writing!!! Write! Canada. I'm hoping to improve my writing and work on a future that includes more writing.

So pray for me that I'll learn stuff, meet inspiring people and make contacts that will benefit me in the future.

grace...Kathie

Chaorder

2007-05-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, that wonderful, wacky state of affairs that permeates my life - chaorder. Everyday the morning starts off with dragging myself from this wonderful place in my dreams. I have to get up. I have to get up. I don't want to get up. I have to get up.

I'm not the only one like this. There are currently no morning people living in this house. However, once up, we are off and running. Get the kids dressed, grab them something to eat, quick get out the door, "You're going to be late!!!" I yell down the hall. Hurry, hurry, hurry.

I get to work and slowly sip on my Tim's while I turn on my email. Oh my gosh, look at all that red... Ok, so I'll get started reading them but then comes the mass invasion, one after the other people enter my office, 'hi', 'how are you today','what's up' and my personal favourite 'whoa, are you ok?' So, it's almost 1030 and I haven't finished reading the emails. Check the voice mail. More interruptions. Crisis in the parking lot. Staff meeting, I'll check the emails later.

This is a normal day. There is usually very little difference from one day to the next. And it's amazing that anything ever gets done when what seems like chaos and disorder is the main course. However, there is a kind of order in the chaos - chaorder. Not only do things get done, a lot of things get done.

However, in all of this, some things get left out. I've been wanting to phone my friend, Linda, however, by the time the chaorder is over it's too late to call her. She's tucked away in dreamland by the time I get my boys settled down in the evening - the time difference is three hours.

I'll have to settle for trying to remember during tomorrow's chaorder. I've found that if I program my phone to beep and remind me to do something, I'll get it done.

With God's help, I make it through. Rather than calm down the chaos, I've taken to turning it into a sense of order. Sometimes it's just the thing to do - just go with the flow, allowing yourself to be blown by the wind wherever it takes you.

The answer my friend is blowing in the wind!

grace...Kathie

Mother's Day Musings!

2007-05-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

Full of noise and chaos, children squealing with laughter, crying over owies, loud footsteps on the laminate floor - this was Mother's Day. We asked the longest living mother of the family what she wanted to do, and she said, have all the family over for dinner. So we did. Ed made a wonderful turkey dinner, the only ones missing were son-in-law Mike who had to work and Derek - who had the audacity to be in Hawaii during this celebration. Thank goodness the rain held off and we could send the children outside to play.

I love when my children bring me homemade Mother's Day gifts. Evan made me a wonderful picture of a butterfly with painted hand prints with a heart warming poem to go with it. Nathan made me a booklet with his picture in it and an acronym of the word Mother that he made up.

I'm dismayed that my daughter Sheena is no longer making her own cards with beautiful hand written sentiments. But with three small children to look after under four, her days no longer contain enough hours to do everything she needs. Hopefully, when her children are older, she'll take up that beautiful craft again.

My brother Terry always likes to write a little verse in all the cards he sends. He's a real character who likes to laugh and always has a questionable joke for me, being careful not to tell me anything too extreme!

Everyone is so different - for these occasions, I just am happy to know that my family love me and want to spend time with me. I have no need for anything really, but I'll always take a gift certificate for knitting supplies or books!

Anway, a new book I'm reading - Withering Heights by Dorothy Cannell - an amusing and light murder mystery. Just what I've needed this last few days.

grace...kathie

Women in Leadership

2007-05-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I've registered for another course at TWU. It's a communications course Women, Communication and Leadership. Read about the course and syllabus at this link:

http://www.twu.ca/glc/program/summer/courses/coursedescriptions.aspx#comm432.

The instructor is from the UK and I'm excited - I had to get permission to take the course as I didn't have one of the prereq's, however, she was more than happy to have me in the class. Let's just hope I can keep up with it. It is an intensive course over one week in August, I'll have to do some reading and writing before hand to keep up with it. It will be very interesting.

I'm also off to Guelph in June to attend Write! Canada - a Christian Writer's Conference put on by the Word Guild (www.thewordguild.com). I'm really looking forward to this conference. I've never been before - I want to learn more about writing and the industry. It will be a great opportunity to network.

What I'd really like to do is get my book going. I'm finding it hard to get the time to get into it - I really have to enter a different place in my head! But it's time to get down to business. I've got the first five or six chapters done for a children's book - Seekers of the Truth - not sure if will end up being one, two or three stories, we'll see what path it takes.

Nathan and I are going to work on some stories this summer together. It will be our project for our holildays - kind of a bonding thing. He's so good with words and I really want to encourage him with it.

Evan loves to draw and colour - so we're going to do some crafts with him this year and get his creative juices going that way - not that it takes much effort to do so!

Lots of fun things in store this summer. I can't wait!

grace...Kathie

ps. Paul, you can peek at my hair in the new photo, but I'll post it here so you can enlarge it better to see!

My Articles Won!

2007-05-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

I am so delighted. My editor from the Salvationist.ca sent me a note saying that they entered three of my articles to the Canadian Christian Press Awards and my articles won. You can read about it on http://www.salvationist.ca/2007/canadian-church-press-awards-of-merit/ and read the entry for May 7th. I was really tickled pink!

I've been doing a lot of contemplating lately about what I need to challenge me. Sometimes I think I need to do something different with my life. A move, or a change, perhaps. Then I think, no way, I'm not leaving here - I love what I'm doing. But I know that at some point we may be asked to do something different. What that will be I don't know.

However, I do know that sometimes we get sidetracked from our path with many temptations. One of the ways the enemy likes to sidetrack us is with pride. Yes, pride. I spoke about pride last Sunday at our service - that's because God has really spoken to me about the subject. I hate that! The path He has before us is for "us" not for others. And their path is not ours. What will be, will be God's will.

So, in light of all of these revelations, I'm going to get back on track. I did get sidetracked, I wandered off the path. However, even that wandering, in and of itself, becomes a part of the path that I follow, till it leads to growth in character and maturity in the Spirit.

grace...Kathie

Family Birthdays!

2007-04-23T09:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my grandson Isaac's birthday party. He turned two on the 15th. Today is my birthday. Slowly but surely the years are passing and I'm edging closer and closer to fifty. 48 - and I don't feel any different than I did at 30. I look different - when I look in the mirror I can see the lines on my face and when you look in the pictures I have that weight gain that screams peri-menopause. However, even though the eyelids wrinkle when I put on makeup, inside there is no change. Perhaps the change is in how I look at myself and how I feel about who I am. I don't feel any different, but I certainly think different. I'm much more settled with who I am as a person, as a woman. I'm much more confident in myself and care less what other people think of me. It's so freeing.

The more I think about it, the more I like getting older. I worry a little about my health, but not so much about age. I want to look good and I denfinately need to do something about my fitness and my weight - but I'm not too worried. Some women really hate getting older. I'm not sure what the fear is, except that I know for me, I'm a much more analytical person - logic. So I look at the whole experience differently than others might.

As my grandchildren grow and multiply, I find that I'm looking at life in a new way. I wasn't ready for grandchildren and being a working mom and very busy, I don't have as much time for my children, let alone six more added to the group. If you look at the family picture to the right on this blog, you'll notice that there are now 17 people in it. That's a far cry from six years ago when there were just nine, including my mom. However, since then the girls have married and had more children and my brother has now come to reside with our family. It's a mixed bag of family members who now gather to celebrate different birthdays and holidays.

However, it's a lot of fun too. There is so much noise and chaos, at times it's awful, but at other times it's fun. It's crazy. The kids love it. It's going to be so different for the grandchildren and our youngest children who will be much more conditioned to the noise and confusion.

My bd celebration is tonight at Swiss Chalet - I'll post some beautiful new pics of my beautiful new hairdo for tomorrow. For now, I'm going to go and rest and relax - my birthday has fallen on my day off!

grace...kathie

My New Haircut

2007-04-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I got a new haircut, but I can't show you yet, don't have a pic taken. I think I really stunned everyone - I had a lot cut off. Wen't from mid length curly/messy look to short, cute & perky bob - straight! Well, it's getting nicer out and I'm getting tired of looking messy. I'm going to be riding my bike, too, of course, and I need my hair to be 'athletic' looking. But really, honestly??? I just wanted a change on a whim - and gosh, why not! Hair - it grows. Well, for some it does, not poor Michael - he keeps shaving off what little he has left!! Poor boy. He reminds me that hair is a priviledge.

My hubby doesn't seem too happy though. He's making funny faces at me and said I remind him of the neighbour. I'm afraid to ask if he means the husband or the wife. My daughter said it looked "Chic" but she prefers the soft curls. If I said that to her after a haircut, she would cry. Good thing I'm made of strong stuff!

But my mom - well, she loves it! So no more "Are you going out with your hair looking like that?" comments. Or my personal favourite "God, you look like hell! Don't you have a comb?" Yes, this is my born again Christian mom - who unfortunately has dementia. Well, I tell myself that it could be worse than having "golden girl Sofia" living with us!!!

Well, that's all for now folks! I'm so busy these days, I'm finding it hard to sit a write and my mind is so distracted that when I'm writing, my mind wanders off before I realize my fingers have stopped typing!!!

grace...kathie

How to Not Mess Up the Great Commission too Much.

2007-04-15T13:10:00.001-07:00

This is a really cute piece - found the link on www.joenoland.com

Check it out - childen are the key to the future! Love it!

BMX Boys

2007-04-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

It was about time. The boys have grown and the last bike we bought for Nathan was when he was four. He's nine now and who can blame him for not wanting to face the summer at camp with a too small bike? Evan, well he's never had a new bike - only hand me downs, which is not a bad thing - his last one was built by one of our clients at the centre. Anyway, it was time to go shopping. We got a great deal at Canadian Tire from Ed's Rotary buddy, who could resist. The price was right and the bikes were so cool. I even couldn't resist and got myself a 6 speed Raleigh with a comfortable seat. I was so excited, I've already been out with the boys tearing up the neighbourhood.

The boys really like their bikes. Evan is so funny. He is real scattered as he rides along, not noticing where on the road he is. Last year he scared the heck out of one of the neighbours by riding out in front of her car. She came to the door all shook up at the fact that she had such a near miss. Evan lost privileges that time. He's still all over the place, so it's going to take some time to get him in line. But he is enjoying himself and with his toothless expression, lisping away, he begins to relate the most fascinating tales of bike phenomenon.

Nathan is a serious biker. He was fascinated last year when we were at the PNE watching the BMX races and stunt bikes. I'm not too afraid that he'll kill himself, but he is the kind of kid that really likes to do well at what he attempts. The serious kind. The dedicated type. Even though the bike just fits him now, he claims that a bike thats bigger won't work for him because it is the bmx style that he's really keen on. So hopefully, he'll not grow too much in the next year or two.

Well, bike time conjures up so many lovely memories for me - riding around and around the block impressing my parents with my various skills - look, no hands. Look no feet. OH NO! Crash! Yep, right into a parked car, head first over the handle bars, smack dab onto the hood of the car. No bike helmet in those days - can't believe I survived childhood. Hopefully, I'll be a bit more careful on this new bike. I know one thing for sure, it beats 20 minutes on a stationary bike in a smelly gym, staring at the same spot on the wall. This way we have the wind in our hair and the smell of the grass, trees and freshly bloomed blossoms, along the dikes, through the country roads - a glorious experience and a darn good cardio workout.

Here's to lost pounds!

grace...Kathie

Life is Short, Enjoy It!

2007-03-26T20:40:00.000-07:00

So here I am, another Monday, another day off. Last week I took two days off in a row - ac tually, two weeks in a row! Good for me! Yes, a well deserved pat on the back! I know, it's not everyday you can do that, especially for us workaholics and perfectionists. However, today I deserve it. Mind you, I don't deserve much else - I'm miserable today. Grumped at everyone. Could have been the fact that I was up late last night mopping up vomit - yes, you heard me - YUCK!

Well, Nathan has been sick with stomache flu and he's passed it on to Evan. It seems that the flu bug just doesn't want to leave us alone. I'm taking Nathan to the dr's this week to have him checked out - he's been sick a lot this year and missed a lot of school. Hopefully, we can get him on the mend soon. I'm not sure how much more stuff Ed and I are gonna want to wipe up!!! Poor boy!

Well, life has a way of taking the mickey out of you sometimes. It's been a trying time - looking for balance and peace. I noticed that for the last few years, February and March are not good months for me. It seems like the busy time from September till now ends up with me very tired, flared up and feeling generally lousy. I usually check out in May and count the days till vacation. This year we get five weeks holiday and I can't wait until I can relax at my trailer and snooze under the canopy listening to the breeze. Those dreams will sustain me till then.

I bought a new book today - a new author. I was at Chapters spending my gift card from Derek for Christmas, and I was quickly browsing through the mystery section and noticed a book - "The Various Haunts of Men" by Susan Hill. Hopefully, I'll like it. The last time that happened I ended up with over seven books by Stephen Booth - he's turned out to be one of my favourite mystery writers now.

Life has a way of making sure you keep your sense of humour. Today I received an email from someone about balance. Instead of forwarding it, I'm going to print it here:

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience
raised a glass of water and asked: 'How heavy is this glass of
water?' Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends

on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a
problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right
arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the
heavier it becomes.' He continued, 'And that's the way it is with
stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or
later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to
carry on. '

'As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. '

'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now,

let them down for a moment if you can.' So, my friend, why not take a
while to just simply RELAX. Put down anything that may be a burden to you
right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while

Life is short - Enjoy it !

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

grace...Kathie

God Forgive Me....

2007-03-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

I think that I need to ask God for forgiveness. I'm sure I've done something - can't figure out what, but I have this guilty feeling. What could it be? Well, I did cheat on my diet - again. Actually, I also really got mad at Evan and raised my voice, a bit harsh. And I was a bit grouchy at my brother today. Oh, yeah, and also, I've been really impatient with people lately.

So I guess I figured out what was making me feel so guilty!

Do you ever feel like you can't get anything right? That's me lately. Sometimes I feel like one big let down, I disappoint others, my family, myself. I feel like I'm going to God over and over to ask for forgiveness. For the same things.

Well, thank goodness that God's storehouse is overflowing and His grace flows freely. I need it so desperately at times.

grace...kathie

Will it ever end...

2007-03-11T14:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt that something had its clutches in you and you couldn't break free? Has it ever felt that it was raining on you, all the time and not on anyone else?

Rain, Rain go away, come again another day... no, wait a cotton pickin minute - what am I saying, don't come back - ever!

That's what I've felt like with various health issues lately. I got over the flu only to come down with a terrible cold just a week later! So now here I am in bed, stuffy, yucky nose stuff and a scratchy sore throat, no energy, trying to keep going in spite of it all.

I think it might have something to do with working six days a week since September.

Well, it's time to get serious about my health, my weight and my work habits. I'm not sure how I'll manage it but I know I can't do it on my own. I'm going to have to ask Jesus to help me with this one.

But I have such a hard time doing that, it's just not funny. I've grown accustomed to having my own way about things. I struggle with God's will for my daily life. Not the big stuff, just the everyday little stuff. But I know that God wants to use me in a much more effective way, I just cannot seem to get how to do that.

So I'm going to have to ask Him to do this stuff for me. If I can trust Him with the big stuff I can trust him with the little every day things.

Help me Jesus!

grace...kathie

Get over it... Soon... Please...!

2007-02-22T23:42:00.000-08:00

I thought that I would be over the flu by now. However, that is not the case. I've been really headachy the last couple of days, cold, shivery, you know... well, went to work anyway. What's with me? I have such a hard time laying back and taking it easy. I get restless. When I'm on vacation I'm fine - but during the work year, just staying home makes me restless. And it's not as if there isn't anything to do at home - there's lots. I just have a hard time with it.

Poor Nathan. He's been suffering with hives - all over. We had to take him to the dr and apparantly he's having a histamine reaction to the virus. THen he relapsed last night too - however, the atarax the dr gave him knocked him out that he doesn't remember being up in the night and being sick. Weird.

Anyway, I'm praying for our famiy to get over this.

Hopefully, soon.

grace...kathie

The Great Rip Out

2007-02-18T16:44:00.000-08:00

I made a poncho for Mailea last year. It was way too big for her, she's such a tiny thing. So for a year, it's been her wrap around play poncho. Not good enough, I insisted that Sarah give it back to me and I'll redo it.

What? Rip the whole thing out?

Yep.

So she did and then I did.

First I started with the edging. I had to do some snipping, which meant I had fluffies everywhere from the yarn - Sirdar's Snuggly Bubbly, a yarn with little nubbies every inch or so. I was good with that though. Not as bad as the dog hair lately. Once I got through the edging, I was ready to find that elusive end and begin to take it apart.

The only way to do it is to rip. Just grab it and rip away, rolling it all back up again into a ball. Roll after roll, rip after rip. Now I've started all over again. This time in the right size for Mailea. Even though she's six, she measures only a 22 chest size which is what they usually give for a two year old. She's a good head smaller than the others in her class but no one will know what size the poncho is, it will be made just for her.

Ripping out the poncho made me think of a prayer I know well...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
grace...Kathie

I Got Flu :o(

2007-02-18T16:28:00.001-08:00

Well, it looks like even this post won't work right. Must be the flu doing it. I haven't been this sick for a long, long time. I mean, I didn't even know which end was up. It started with Sarah's little Sean on Thursday afternoon, then David. Later, in the middle of the night I started to throw up and right on my heels was Nathan, who later collapsed at the end of our bed to be near the ensuite bathroom. Later when the day began Ron came home telling the same tale, except he didn't make it home before it hit. Then later it was my mom - and I began to worry because of her age - older people always get it worse. Thank goodness she had her flu shot, she didn't get it quite as bad as the rest of us.

It hit me like a Tsunami. One minute I was fine, the next minute the head's in a bowl. My goodness, at least now the chicken noodle soup is staying down (or in) and we're all on the mend. We're watching though cause little Sean had a relapse this morning after everyone thinking he was over it.

Next year I'm making sure I don't forget my flu shot.

grace...kathie

The Syd & Allie Show

2007-01-24T13:56:00.000-08:00

My two babies are finally together again! Seeing Allie Cat and SydSyd together is just wonderful. SydSyd is not sure at all just what to make of Allie Cat and I think she's a bit jealous when Nana is holding her. Allie Cat is just sweet though, just like her mom, gentle and lots of smiles and cuddles. SydSyd is just like her mom too, well, Sarah, we won't go into that, will we!

I'm so happy that Sheena and Mike and their babies are home now. It seemed forever and a day that they were gone and now here we are all together again. And let me tell you that when we're all together - it's absolute chaos. But together with chaos is better than not together at all. I will put up with chaos - I'm actually getting used to it. When I'm really tired it's hard, but if I'm well rested I'm up for it.

Say good bye, Syd & Allie, see you again soon!

grace...Kathie

Christmas

2006-12-28T17:42:00.000-08:00

Christmas kills me. I mean, it exhausts me. I'm still recovering from December's harried pace. From hampers for sponsored families, dealing with the mentally ill, addicted and homeless at Christmas, Christmas meals, fundraising, Christmas services, music, more fundraising, staff issues ..... my November and December are just ruthless to the age and infirm (meaning me!).

Too many times over the Chrismas season I ask, "Is it ever going to end?" and it does. I fall like a limp dishrag, used far too many times to wipe up dog prints from the floor, to the chaise lounge in the living room, put the back of my hand to my forehead and exhale, "O my!"

Yes, I'm so dramatic! No, I don't really do that, but I certainly feel like it.

Christmas - I must do better next year. I must be better organized. I must have all my presents bought and wrapped before kettles start. I must, I must....

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

Well, in the midst of all of that we were able to get to the Rotary Christmas party, a nice chance to dress up and mingle with people who all have homes to live in, and let the kids have a real fun time watching the magician perform and receiving a present from Santa.

We also got a chance to see the Christmas concert at the boys school. Well, Evan, a wise man in the school nativity scene, couldn't keep still. He will be forever remembered as the "dancing king." The whole auditorium giggled while he did a little shoulder shake, eye roll and snappy finger dance beat. It was hilarious, and we're sorry we didn't bring the video camera. Here they are in the lobby of the golf club where we had the party. You can see the mischief in Evan's eyes.

It is such a blessing to have my mom here this Christmas. My brother Ron is with us now as well, it was a blessing to be together for Christmas - more family to celebrate with.

Next week Sheena comes home. I can't wait. I'll take lots of pics that day and then I'll post them for everyone to see. I can't wait to kiss those boys and cuddle that little baby girl.

I'm off with my neighbour Mary to dinner and to see the movie "The Queen." Haven't been out with a girlfriend in a long, long time. I really get on well with Mary, we're a lot alike. It's nice to sit with a girlfriend and chat. Although I miss my vitamin "D" and "L" back in Ontario. Life will never be complete until we're able to sit down and have a cuppa together again.

Life is too short. Life is too difficult. Let's not waste it. Enjoy the holidays.

grace...kathie

Brave

2006-11-24T18:51:00.000-08:00

www.nicolenordeman.com

I like the words to her song, Brave. I used to be brave. But I'm not anymore. I stopped being brave when I realized that it was not productive. When you are not perceived as brave, but something negative, then it's not worth it. However, the words of this song have really inspired me lately, got me thinking, made me sit up and take notice...

The gate is wide, the road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground, you're safe and sound
Until now it's where I've been cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, You're love
That cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
is no longer good enough
you make me want to be brave
brave, brave

I just really like Nicole Nordeman's music. The words sound like something I want to write! She's brave. I want to be brave now. Perhaps it's time to let my credibility stand for itself. Perhaps it's time to speak up, be brave...

perhaps....?

don't chicken out...

wait....

ok, I'll be brave....

grace...Kathie

ps. Don't take a "vow of compromise"

Cuties Pies!

2006-11-15T19:20:00.000-08:00

It's been so long since I've written - that's because I'm so busy writing! However, not for this blog but for other things - like the salvationist.ca. That's been really great. So much to catch you all up on, like some new pics of Sheena's brood out in Regina! Here is my new Allie Cat...

Isn't she so sweet!!! And she's wrapped in the hand knit blanket I made her - Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Baby!! Love that stuff even though I'm allergic to the merino wool in it. That's a nana's luv for you, I knit that for a couple of months and got eczema on my hands and eyes and sneezed and itched all the way through it.

Here's hosea, playing in the leaves in Regina. I really miss the kids and Sheena. It's just not the same without them around. I can just feel the loss - it's palpable. Do you ever feel like that when someone you love isn't with you? I can't imagine being far from them for a longer length of time - thank goodness they'll be back in BC in a few weeks - but where in BC? That is the question.

Here's Isaac! What a cutie pie! I miss him too, snuggling in bed together. I can't wait for them to get back here so we can do that again!

Life just doesn't seem fair. I know for sure that it's not fair for many people. My troubles seem so small and insignificant compared to some others. However, I know that God is good. I know that He loves us and has a plan for each one of us.

I just hope His plan is for my kids to be close to me!

grace...Kathie

My Crazy Boys!

2006-09-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

Evan (6) & Nathan (8)

Here they are all slicked up by Paola, our friend, babysitter and all round beautiful young girl. The boys love to have her come over and she does up their hair. She took these pictures of them! What a great girl! Thanks, Paola! The boys are having a great time these days, but my goodness, they keep me busy. Always on the go and always fighting, that's boys, but so loving at the same time.

Here is Paola at camp sunrise in the pool - we spent a great weekend with her family at our trailer. Her family came from Mexico four years ago. Her parents work for us and now come to our church.

Here is William, her brother. He is a crazy, drum playing boy! A lot of fun and he is great to have around. We thank God for both of them and their parents (who were enrolled as soldiers today.)

God is so good to us. Our summer was full of wonderful blessings! New friends, new family (human and otherwise!) and lots of fun. Till next year, so long to camp sunrise - hello busy and chaotic life! We're back!

Our Family is Growing

2006-09-03T20:24:00.000-07:00

Boomer!

This is the newest member of our family! Boomer will be two in October and he is a Golden Retriever. We were given this incredible gift by a breeder in Robert's Creek, who parted with him tearfully just the other day. Now we know why it was hard for them to part - this is one of the nicest dogs I have ever known. He is gentle and timid - so gentle that Evan isn't afraid of him. That is a miracle. He is trained and responds well to commands. He's a little sad right now but after 24 hours his tail came out from between his legs and is wagging. Cuddles, of course, put him in his place as the dominant female in the house, but I think even she has been won over by this kind and gentle giant. Here they are together - her expression says it all!

Welcome to the family Boomer!

Summer is Over!

2006-09-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

It's so sad. We came back from the camp from our last week up at our trailer. I spent the morning looking out at the waters of Howe Sound, the sun sparkling like a pool of diamonds on the water's surface. It was so relaxing and restful - I didn't want to leave, but life goes on. This summer was a good one, albeit a sad one with Sheena leaving for Regina. I keep telling myself it's only for five months, she'll be back. I miss the children - especially the new one who we've barely got to know.

I felt a certain bond with Allie the week Sheena came to the trailer to spend some time with us. It was such a good time to be with the grandchildren - I slept with Isaac all week and we got to know each other in a completely different way. Usually he just comes to visit - but 24/7 with him was a real treat. Hosea usually stays away from me, like he does with most people, but there were a few times that he allowed me to be present with him in his reality!

Here are some lovely pics from that time together.

Isaac - this picture paints a true picture of this active and delightful little boy. He was teething something awful that week, but he found some time to enjoy the playground.

Hosea, the cool dude. Mr. Aloof - don't come in my space, man, invitation only!

Here is baby Allie - my new nick name for her is Allie-cat! Sheena doesn't like it, I'm sure, but I really think it's cute. Here she is modelling one of the latest creations knitted by Nana - a lovely cotton number with cables and seed stitch - of course the little bunny buttons make a cute touch to finish off the garment.

So my summer has been one of relaxation and rest - enjoying the fellowship of the other campers and hanging out with our new friends, the Cross family. We've been really blessed this year. This is the first summer in a long time that my vacation wasn't sick time for me. This new medication is working wonders and I have more energy than I've had for a long time. I can only pray that God will continue to keep me going through the next busy work season.

Allie is Here!

2006-07-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! She is so sweet! She came into the world at 6lbs 11oz on June 23rd and has the cutest little eyes and nose. She has long fingers and toes just like her mom - actually, looking at her is like looking right at Sheena as a baby! Dark hair in the same growth pattern that Sheena's was and skinny little legs just like her mom. I think she's going to have dark eyes and dark skin more like her mom.

Of course, she is wearing the little pink hat I made for her. We thought that she would be a bit bigger - but she's so petite. She sleeps well, feeds well and is a very calm little one. Hopefully, for mommy's sake, she'll stay that way till Isaac is a bit older! With only 14 months between them in age, that's something we really need to pray for - for mommy's sake!

Here is her big cousin Mailea holding her for the first time. This new child has no idea about the busy and sometimes chaotic family she's been born into. Three cousins close in age, two siblings close in age and two uncles very close in age! Of course there's a ton of cousins from her dad's side as well all being born in the last couple of years. Everywhere you turn, there's babies, babies everywhere.

Welcome to the world of the crazy Chiu Family - Alethea Jane Sarah Wardrope!

We love you very much!

Happy Birthday!

2006-07-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

July 2, 2006 - Sheena & Sarah turn 24! We celebrate with a nice party - all our immediate family and then Uncle Edmund & Aunt Caroline came and also Uncle Paul. Patricia & Memo came with Paola as well - a huge crowd, lots of food and way too much dessert including the BD cake.

They look so grown up now - each have three children! I can't imagine how fast that went. It seems like yesterday they were dancing in front of the video camera signing away pretending they were singing stars. It seems like just moments ago we were dealing with raging hormones, pimples and well, just plain old teenage girl stuff. Actually, I like them all grown up. They were fun when they were young, but they are really nice young women. I like being with them and don't have enough time to spend with them at all.

I thank God for these two girls in my life - I was truly blessed the day God knit them together in my womb. How precious they were - two tiny, little beings who came crashing into my life when I least expected it - now I couldn't imagine my life without them and I don't know what I'll do to cope when the time comes to ever separate from them. God knows, though - only through His strength do we do anything at all.

grace...kathie

2006-06-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a couple of weeks since I posted - I'm told that people are looking at my blog and wondering where I am. Well, I'm here, but totally wrapped up in different things. When I get home in the evenings I'm so tired, I find it hard to sit up and write such inspired stuff! I should take a break at work and post from there -ooops! What was I thinking - unofficial use of an SA computer! LOL

Anyway, it's been a difficult week. I had another migraine headache. I've never really had these before, but in the last few months I've had a few. It is so debilitating to have one of these headaches. It started on Tuesday night after we got home from the movies and finally subsided completely yesterday (Sunday!). I went to work on Wednesday and Thursday - which was a totally stupid thing to do, however, I kept thinking, "It won't last, I'll just take a couple of tylenol or an advil or both." But it stayed, got worse, just awful. I tried the chiropractor, tried the dr who gave me something really strong. That helped for a while, but it just kept going after the drug wore off. Whew! Whatever triggered it, I hope it doesn't happen again.

Yesterday was Father's day and all the kids came over with their kids. Ed went to the park with some of them and they took some pictures. Here are a few.

Nathan & Evan at the Alouette River

Sheena & Mike arrive with Hosea & Isaac - just wish that new baby would too!

Sydney just hung around in the buggy!

Once Upon a Sheep Survives1

2006-05-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm really feeling a bit tired right now. I've had that insomnia for the last couple of nights that hits me once in a while. It's difficult to concentrate when that happens - sleep deprivation is not good. However, my mind is occupied, in an excited way of course, with the yarn shop - and it's survival. Some things just take a licking and keep on ticking! I really felt a sense of peace - you cannot own things so much that your happiness depends on them. But I must say that I am very pleased that we've been able to keep the shop alive and well. When we decided that the sa would not continue to have oversight of the shop and if we had to we'd close it, it was a difficult decision, but I was at peace with it. That didn't mean I wanted to see it go - however, one has to be realistic.

But now we have another chance to keep it going with a completely new group of women who are ready and willing to put their all into it and sign on officially. I'm sending off in the mail our application for The Shepherd's Heart to become officially recognized as a non profit society - what a learning process. We have our board of directors, backing from a bank and we're off to the races!

I'm just about finished that sweater for the shop - lovely lilac lace. I'll post a picture when it's done.

Today we had a staff retreat - I decided that it would be fun to take my staff away for a day and do some team building with them. We had a couple of guests - Suman from head office who specializes in HR and the HR dept head who is going to school to become a pastor! What a wonderful day we had. We went skiing on a pair of ridiculous skis - five at a time. I nearly ended my life under one of my staff - Mike is a bit bigger than me. It was really a blessing to do this - we had a lovely meal, chicken stuffed with cream cheese - different, very rich. We really got to see each other in a different light and find out about each others colour personality profile. We exhanged affirming compliments and all in all were lifted up by the experience. I think we're going to do it again next year.

And to end off the day, when I got home was a nice letter from the little girl we sponsor in the philippines, Janine. What a sweetheart who sends me updates on her life on a regular basis. She is really a cutie.

So ends another day, another week.

grace...Kathie

New Knitting Project

2006-05-09T19:56:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a new knitting project for the shop. You can find it on www.knitty.com - it's the little girls lace sweater. I'm doing it in a lovely lilac shade of Grace and trimming it with a darker shade. Watch for pictures soon, I'm almost finished.

grace...kathie (who's busy knitting)

Happy Birthday!

2006-05-09T19:47:00.000-07:00

Isaac and I recently shared our birthday celebration! Everyone came over and we had a wonderful time. Ed barbequed his special chicken marinade and we had salad and other fixings. Of course, in spite of starting a new "eating plan" they got me a cake entitled "Death by Chocolate" for my big day. Well, it was worth the pound I gained - why hesitate, if you're going to cheat you may as well cheat really good.

I'm having a very interesting time lately. As soon as the nice weather hits in BC I start dreaming of camp and sitting and knitting and looking out over the water to Keats Island, and well... you know, nothing much more than that. No busyness and no phone calls about work, just me and the kids and Ed hanging out. Soon....soon....

Well, now that I'm officially at the top end of the 40's I begin to think of the big 50 birthday coming in a few years - I can't believe that. I still feel so young, and I don't think I look that old, but I suppose when Menopause if finished with me my skin will look a little more like I'm supposed to at that age! If only I had scads of money and could live a life of luxury - my own personal chef, workout instructor and the best skin care $ can buy. Well, one can only dream...

I'm tired of dreaming, time to go back to reality!

grace...Kathie

Uncle Evan

2006-04-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

I love my uncle Evan! He is so much fun, he's always doing something to entertain me. But you know what, even though he's so bouncy and always jumping around, when he stops to pay attention to me, which is a lot, he is so gentle and he always kisses me on the head.

Here I am at Nana's house and me and Evan are cuddling on Nana's big chair. We fit in so nicely together, don't you think? Uncle Evan is holding me so nicely - I'm going to grow up and really love Uncle Evan even more than I do now.

I love going to Nana and Papa's house, it's so much fun there! I escpecially love Uncle Evan!

love Sydney

Isaac's New Sweater

2006-04-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

Wow! My nana made me a new sweater! It's so cool, I had to put it on right away!

I love the stripes and the colours, they go so nicely with my lovely deep brown eyes. Sorry, I know that sounds incredibly conceited, but I really am rather cute.

My mom and dad brought me over for Easter Sunday dinner. We actually went to church this morning and sang wonderful songs and I got to play with Papa while Nana preached an awesome sermon!

At Nana a Papa's house, I ate a little bit of wonderfully prepared (by Nana of course) mashed potatoes and moist, succulent turkey. The gravy that topped it off was absolutely superb, and again we have to thank Nana for that.

I love my new sweater. Nana is going to make one for my big brother Hosea too! Except his is going to be a really nice sage green to go with his colouring - that red hair gets all the attention!

Anyway, I have to go home now, my mommy says it's my bedtime. See you next time, I love you Nana and Papa. Thank you for my lovely new sweater!

It's Been a While...

2006-04-11T21:39:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I posted. I get so busy - and lately we've been quite busy with not only our regular schedule, but also we've had a lot of company. Everyone is wanting to come and see my mom before she can't remember them anymore. I'm glad that they've made the effort, it meant so much to mom.

This is my nephew Alan and his wife Karen from Cambridge. They just came to visit us for a week and I think Karen fell in love with cuddles! We had such a great time together and I'm waiting for their call to say the movers have been called and they're on their way! Karen was so great with grandma - she is a home care support worker by profession and so knew exactly how to deal with her and take care of her - and grandma lapped it up! Compared to that I think we mistreat her! Anyway, she had a great time together with Alan, her oldest grandson and her first grandchild that she had to spend time with looking after. Alan and I were buddies when he was a little guy - I was 10 when he was born so he hung out with me and I corrupted him as he grew teaching him "french" and how to ice skate.

The first one to come and see us was my brother Ron who lives in Belleville. He stayed for a week and it was great to see him. I don't think we took any pictures of him when he was here! Then my brother Pat came to see us with his new wife. They only stayed three days. But it was the first time we met Diana and it was good to get to know her. They live in Fort Erie.

It's now time for "Sunny Boy" to make his way out here. His mom is waiting for him and disappointed everytime she asks. I've tried the guilt trip, I think it might be working slowly!

What is so wonderful is that God has allowed my mom the time to get the chance to see her family again. What a blessing that is.

grace...kathie

Sleep Overs!

2006-03-17T18:57:00.000-08:00

Mailea is here tonight! The boys wanted her to come and have a sleep over. It's kind of funny, they were all raised together for Mailea and Evan's first three and a half years. For those who don't know - Evan is my youngest child and Mailea is my oldest grandchild! Yes, "Father of the Bride Part Two" - that was us, my daughter and I pregnant at the same time. What a time that was!

There's a bond between Mailea and the boys. It happened from growing up for a while together. For the longest time Mailea thought that I was her second mommy! Sarah and I even had to substitute breast feed for each other and I think that led to a further bonding between us all!

Granddaughters are neat. They bring back so many memories. Playing with dolls, dressing up like a princess, make up and tea parties - us girls just kind of do that stuff. But Mailea can also run with the boys and she rides her bike and wears her hockey jersey too!

I thank God for my Mailea - her name means Myrtle Vine and it grows in the forests of Hawaii. It is harvested by hand at only certain times of the year and is used to decorate homes and doorways on special occasions and also adorns a bride at her wedding. Mailea is like that - God's special girl given to us to bring us geat joy and bring beauty to our lives.

God bless Mailea!

grace...Kathie (Nana!)

Another Grandbaby!

2006-03-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

Say hi to Isaac! He is a sweet little boy with a real gentle nature to him. It doesn't take much for him to break into a great big smile. He looks like mom, Sheena. He has the same kind of shy sweetness to him when he smiles. I have a picture of Sheena when she was small and you can see the same thing in her.

Grandbabies are so awesome! However, I don't get to spend enough time with them! I keep telling the girls to slow down and let me get closer to retirement so I can have some fun spending time with them!

Here is Sheena - She really is a beautiful young woman. She doesn't even need makeup to look beautiful! She is such a good mom! Can you see her eyes in Isaac? The darker complexion - so unlike his big brother Hosea.

She's giving us another grandchild this June! We know it's a girl - 3 grandbaby girls and 3 grandbaby boys - wow!

Thank God for children who bring so much to our lives and teach us to live every day to the fullest. Thank you God for all my children - all five of them! Bless them, Lord!

grace...kathie

Distractions!

2006-03-13T13:03:00.000-08:00

It has been a whirlwind of activity lately. Or else it just seems like it. I've been so distracted and had difficulty staying on any one task at a time. How frustrating. It's just so much for one person to deal with at times!

Here is the latest thing that is taking my mind away from other things I should be doing but don't really want to! This is Sydney, modelling a lovely new sweater that her Nana made for her. Sydney is such a little doll. She reminds me so much of her mother - her nose is just like Sarah's, a little turned up with a cute little point to it. I'm waiting for a mole to show up on her face just like her mom's! Sydney and I seem to get on very well. I guess you could say we have a little bond that happened the day she was born - she heard my voice and turned her head toward me in the delivery room, our eyes met and we've been pals ever since. My other grandchildren are all very special too. I'll have to write about them soon.

Here is the sweater up close. I used a Peter Pan pattern and used Snuggly Fair Isle DK. The colour almost seems like cotton candy and Sydney has just the right colouring for it, too! I really like Snuggly yarns by Sirdar. Their acrylic is soft yet stands up to washing/drying and doesn't pill like Patons Astra/Canadiana does. The trim on this sweater makes all the difference, turning it from a boring raglan, to something quite feminine, something a girley girl would wear.

Thank God for knitting and the sanity it brings. I don't know if I could manage without it in this busy, crazy and often chaotic world. I sit in the living room or in my bed, put on anything on TV or sit and chat with, someone and my fingers let loose. It takes the chaos and helps my mind to work it through with a sense of peace and settles all the issues I'm dealing with in their rightful place in my mind.

Today, I'm having a day off - I think it's time to get some knitting done. Hopefully, no one will disturb my peace. That will be my prayer.

grace....Kathie

Home Sweet Home!

2006-02-27T18:21:00.000-08:00

My mom came home today! We've arranged all the necessary home care stuff - man, is it ever complicated. She's all pooped out from her big day. Soon, the home care person will come and get her ready for bed and she'll be off to dreamland - well, that is unless she falls asleep before that.

When I got her home she said, ''Oh, home, sweet home!" She recognized her home. When she was up in her room sitting in her favourite rocking chair she asked me, "Will I ever get my husband back?" I asked her if she meant her husband George - "Yes" - I had to remind her that he passed away. I didn't say 25 years ago! But when I reminded her she seemed to remember.

How scary it must be to forget things and be so confused. How cruel this life is to us as we age. Today when we left the hospital we said goodbye to the other ladies and wished them well. My mom waved goodbye, so happy to have a family to care for her.

I'm so happy she's home. I can rest now.

grace...Kathie

Four Generations

2006-02-22T18:54:00.000-08:00

Up to the time this picture was taken, all of us were living together - four generations in one house. It was an awesome time - much chaos and far more hormones than should be in one house at the same time!

My mom looked so lovely at Sheena's wedding. It was our first child's wedding - grandma's first granddaughter getting married. It was a wonderful and magical day.

We put this picture in an album, along with pictures of all our family members, to help my mom remember. She keeps forgetting who she is and who she belongs to. She keeps thinking that the nurses are family members and the other women in the room confuse her - she wonders who they belong to.

So she's looking at her new photo album reading out what we've written about who everyone is. It seems like new information to her sometimes, but other times, it's like she knows it fine. One day she is confused, another day she knows what's happening and she wants to come home.

That is the stressful part. The other part is, the poor woman can't hear me - her hearing aid broke. We've ordered a new one and it won't be hear fast enough for her! Today I had here TV hooked up so she can watch it. She's fascinated with it - like it's a new thing altogether. She can't seem to understand how to push the channel and volume buttons. Oh well... at least she'll have something to amuse her.

I thank God that up until just a few weeks ago we had my mother with us totally knowing where she was. It was a wonderful blessing to have her at Sheena and Sarah's weddings. Well, actually she missed Sarah's wedding at the church, but that's another story!

I love this picture with my mom. Thank you, Lord, for my mom and all the wonderful memories I have of her.

grace...Kathie

Amazing Memories

2006-02-21T21:57:00.000-08:00

Here we are back in September 1990 - our Welcome Weekend. That's what they called it when you went off to The Sally Ann's training college. Sarah & Sheena are in their little mauve dresses and Derek looked very smart in his suspenders and bow tie. Man, am I ever thin! I was only 140 there! Well, that was about 40 pounds ago!

What memories this brings back. We've been making up an album for my mom so that she can look at it in the hospital and remember us all. I came across this and it amazed me. What a day that was. How nervous we were. Now, I think, if only I knew - I would have run the other way and fast!!!

I can't believe how far - geographically speaking and spiritually speaking - that God has brought us. Our lives have been such an adventure and we've been able to make a difference in someone's world. How amazing that is. What a wonderful feeling that is.

Thank you Lord.

grace...Kathie

Blast from the Past!

2006-02-21T21:43:00.000-08:00

I wasnt' supposed to go to work today, but I was bored at home so off I went. I didn't get much accomplished, but I was there to take a very important call from someone very special. Someone I haven't spoken to in years but often think of. Someone who's pictures are around my house, on the fridge, on the inside of our computer desk, you know what I mean. And so Lisa called. Lisa - the young girl who was like a younger sister to me many, many moons ago. What a joy it was to reconnect with her again.

Sometimes when we're feeling down, and we don't even know what we need, God provides just the right thing. People have been asking me how they can help me since my mom's been in hospital. It's comforting to know they're thinking of me, but I don't know what to tell them. What can they do to help? I don't even know what to do for myself these days. I'm numb, just blank, mind wandering onto insignificant, trivial things. So what do I need....

God knew.

And she called.

And I felt so lifted up after our talk... all the way from England, the place where I feel most at home where I bond with the atmosphere.

Lisa, it was so good to speak to you today. You reminded me of times that were fun and happy. Don't just breeze into my life and then disappear again. Let's not do that again!

Thank you Lord for that encouragement today.

grace...Kathie

Ups & Downs

2006-02-18T10:50:00.000-08:00

This past day or two has been much better for my mom. She's talking and laughing although still not making sense all the time. You can tell her speech is getting a little difficult - she doesn't always come up with the right words for what she wants to say. But her mood has improved. She was up watching TV with the ladies from her room in the hallway today while they waxed their floor. They were watching Olympic women's hockey and knew the score - that was great. When we got there she wanted to get dressed and come home. It was difficult to tell her that she couldn't right now.

I'm going to hire someone to come in and clean and organize my house. I can't do it. Ed's too busy and sick to do more than regular maintenance and I'd rather spend my time with the kids than do endless loads of laundry when I get home from work.

That feels selfish. Really, to spend money on something I should be doing myself! But, I just can't do it and work full time. Wherever did society get the notion that a woman could do everything and still keep her mind together. No wonder we're a prozac society!

Sometimes I think that if I could just garner enough faith, or prayer a little more, I'd be able to do it all. But I can't seem to find the time in between running from here to there to actually get my mind organized to pray. Thank goodness God understands this and isn't sitting in judgement on me like I am on myself. Thank goodness He accepts my prayers in the wind as I'm running from here to there, the ones that drift up dreamily from my pre sleep exhaustion.

Well, it's time to carry on and not give up, so much laundry to do, so much cleaning to do so that when I hire someone they don't think I'm a complete slob!

grace...kathie

Empty Mind, Empty Thoughts, Empty Day...

2006-02-14T18:32:00.000-08:00

Today was an empty day. I went to the hospital this morning and my mom decided she wasn't going to talk. Well, that's what it seemed like until we realized that she was having a problem and didn't know what was wrong. It was sad. I didn't know what to do to get her to talk or try or take her pills or eat her food. She didn't seem to know what to do or where she was. But she did know who I was... and that was a good thing.

I feel so empty. I'm tired. All the running around, back and forth to the hospital, picking up the kids from school, going to work, going home, the birthday party for Nathan. I'm completey tuckered out. I wonder if I'm ever going to get my energy back. I wonder if life will ever again be peaceful, calm, less chaotic. I'm so tired. Today I'm going to cocoon. A good book, under the duvet, in my bedroom away from the noise... mmm... just what I need.

I'll write about the party another day...

grace... I really need it today.. Kathie

Mothers, Daughters, Sisters

2006-02-11T17:40:00.000-08:00

Well, as I write this I'm exhausted from a 24 hour ordeal with my mom and the hospital. She hasn't been herself lately and so I decided yesterday that I had to do something about it. She seems vacant lately and her speech and memory were suddenly not what they should be. Even though there was nothing dramatic happening, I still felt I needed to finally take her in. My doctor ended up suggesting the hospital - and so the adventure began.

The doctor she saw today asked me why I didn't bring her in when she had her fall in January. I'm like, why? She got up, she didn't break anything, she seemed fine at the time and the last time this happened - well I was made to feel like I had wasted everyone's time over nothing. On top of that you get the lovely BC Health System (notice the capitals?) which causes more sickness trying to get through it all to get the help you need. Waiting room waits for almost four hours, no beds available, doctors who take forever to get to you and then when they do their so busy with so many cases you feel like you've maybe been imagining it all and you should just go home.

Anyway, my mom is in hospital. They don't know what's wrong with her - she may be having TIA's (mini strokes) or she may have something going on in her corotid artery, or it may be her heart. Either way, she needs too much care to be at home and I can't take care of her in her present state.

I miss her.

Even though she drives me crazy.

Who will tell me my hair looks like hell before I go out?
Who will remind me that my behind is very big these days? Am I gaining weight?
Who will tell me I never come home from work, Im too busy?

It's funny when your parents age. Even though the roles reverse somewhat, and they become like children and you the parent, they still retain that position in your life that gives them the right to point out all your faults!

I miss her.

I hope she gets well enough to come home soon. She asked me about the boys - who is taking care of them? Are they ok? She knows she has a family. She knows she has a home. It's so much more than some older folk have these days.

God help those other ones we saw down there that were all alone.

grace... Kathie

Deception - a Risk

2006-02-08T16:36:00.000-08:00

We've had a young man staying with us since Christmas. Jordan came to us at the shelter and my son decided to bring him home for Christmas and he just never left. We felt he could have the bedroom downstairs and since he said he was starting a new job, he would pay some room and board. He couldln't go home, he said, because he wouldn't join his parent's religion - they are Jehovah's Wittnesses. We took him at his word and it turned out that our trust was misplaced.

Derek was most hurt of all. He'd really put his friendship on the line and it was used and abused. When the web of deceipt came to light it really stunned us all. Derek was, understandably so, very disappointed.

The disbelief that comes to mind is just phenomonal. Even when presented with the evidence of truth you don't want to believe that someone could so abuse you. But that is what happened. The risk was taken - someone came into our home. We opened up our hearts and gave our love and care. Basically, it was gobbled up by someone who just wanted to take. Extreme selfishness was at the core of that. A lust for power and control that lies and theft bring.

So what do you do when someone betrays you like that? How do you cope with the truth of deception? Do you stop trusting people? Do you decide not to help someone again? Do you close off your heart to the cries of help from others?

No.

What you do is pray. Pray for that person that deceived and used you. Pray for God to bless them. And everytime you feel that disappointment, you pray again. Then you reach out and get ready to help someone else.

Not everyone will scam you. Most people won't. But there will be some who do. If you are going to put yourself out and make yourself vulnerable to others, it's going to happen. But you can't let the sins of others determine the course you will take. That would be giving them more control over your life than they deserve. Instead, embrace each experience and learn from it. Will you be a little more careful next time? Yes. Once burned, twice shy? Perhaps. A little wiser, but unchanged.

God be with you Jordan wherever you are. I pray he blesses you. If you read this, you are welcome in our life and we are more than willing to help you face the challenge of positive change.

grace... Kathie

Sydney!

2006-02-05T19:05:00.000-08:00

Sidney is so cute! Sarah & David came over today after church and stayed for dinner. So we got to have some cuddle time with the new baby. Isn't she adorable? Don't you just want to gobble her up and snuggle her? Look at the forhead - that is Sarah all over when she is giving us the "eye."

Babies are a part of our life that make such a difference. Today at church, Sarah was showing her baby to some of the people that were staying in our shelter and it's amazing how a baby can bring a change over someone. That dirty and disheveled person who is absolutely homeless smiles and coos and a transformation comes over them.

Jesus said that we have to be like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Babies bring us to that place...

grace

Sheep Tales & Kneedle Soup

Discombobulated!

/ˌdɪskəmˈbɒbyəˌleɪt/

Are we there yet...?

A Long Day

R & R

Stranded

The Ring Leader

Sweet Sorrow

The Corners of My Mind

Life's Just Like That

The Real Chatty Kathy Doll

ChattyKathie

I'm in His Hands

Great Big Faith

Happy Halloween

Ya Gotta Have Faith

The Spirit's Prompting

Is the Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

My Ideal Life

The Trouble With Words

Sad, Stressful Days

Olympic Fever

We'll Meet Again....

Long, Long, Long Stay... Yay!

A New Year

Safe in the Arms of Jesus

Overwhelmed

Cherishing Mom

Walking

Good Bye Boomer

The Long Road

Fences

A Growing Family

Anxious Thoughts

Oh my! I've been busy.... sigh...

AhhhchiuNews!

Handmade

An Eventful Season

We Rise Again

My Magical Place

Ciao, bela!

Proud Mama!

Recovery, Recovery

Two Weeks

Not Really a Post

So here you are, Garry!

Wow! I've been a lazy blogger...

I've Found Family!

It's been so long....

Oh, I Hate Those Quotes of the Day!

Lazy Days at Camp Sunrise

Birthday Season

Write! Canada

Ok, Ok, I'm here already!

Chaorder

Mother's Day Musings!

Women in Leadership

My Articles Won!

Family Birthdays!

My New Haircut

How to Not Mess Up the Great Commission too Much.

BMX Boys

Life is Short, Enjoy It!

God Forgive Me....

Will it ever end...

Get over it... Soon... Please...!

The Great Rip Out

I Got Flu :o(

The Syd & Allie Show

Christmas

Brave

Cuties Pies!

My Crazy Boys!

Our Family is Growing

Summer is Over!

Allie is Here!

Happy Birthday!

Once Upon a Sheep Survives1

New Knitting Project